Confessions of a Cube Dancer

Where Have I Been...

2008-12-28T21:31:00.002-05:00

And What I Have Been Doing...

I didn't mean to leave you like that. I didn't. Really. I promise. It's just, work has been a little busy. Who knew that I would be that busy working in a school and constantly grading papers? But I love it. I really do. It's been a wonderful experience this far...blah, blah, blah.

I'll write more, since I get this week off, but I wanted to leave everyone with this great youtube video that was sent me and clearly I am one of the last people to find out about this show. It's called [title of show] and seems fun and once I get five more dollars on my iTunes, I'm buying it (so if anyone is interested in sending me five iTunes dollars...)

But this is the video that was made: 9PFT.

And here is a list of everyone that appears in it in order with the picture: Supertossers...and yes, that is Sylar, Sarah Silverman, Ugly Betty, Doogie Hoosier...etc, etc, etc...

Enjoy! More to follow!

Where I've Been

2008-08-22T22:11:00.001-04:00

And What I've Been Doing

Now, I know that you all missed me terribly. I've been lacking in posts and comments on other people's blogs. I generally read them all, however it is through Google Reader, so you might not know. So, I actually have a legitimate reason for not blogging in the past, oh, who knows how many months. Some of you already know this, but for others, you probably know nothing about it.

Last September (yes, it goes that far back), I began prepping for a big test. Now, bear in mind that this test was a week after I started prepping for it. It is the Praxis Two. And for those of you who a) know what the Praxis is and b) will have to take the Praxis Two at some point in your life, the Praxis Two English Content Test SUCKS! (just an FYI). For those of you who have no idea what I'm talking about, let me explain. The Praxis series (since there are at least three that you have to pass) are tests designed to know how well you will be as a teacher. Although, in truth, it really is just how much you know about your content area. So one week before I was set to take this test, I was enjoying the sights of NYC with Ike, Kimmmmm, Geoff, Jarrett and Terrance. I think we were actually there for the Brazilian festival. So anyways, Ike, Kimmmmm and I were on the way to Coney Island and I was getting tested literary devices and movements...for the entire hour train ride. What's important to understand is that I had only created 20 flashcards at this point, so it was really the same 20 questions over and over again. The following week I took the test. I left wanting to cry. It was, in all seriousness, one of the hardest tests I have EVER taken in my life. The following month I called ETS, who puts the test on, to get my results. I got a 193 out of 200. This put my in the top 15 percentile of test takers giving me a little certificate in the mail (which, disappointedly, did not include money).

By the end of the week (because I'm a procrastinator) I turned in my application for school. A month later I had my interview for the school. Five hours later that day, I got a phone call from the school telling my that I was accepted (YAY). Classes started in January, concluding in March, with student teaching the month of April. So I was going to work, then heading straight to school and not getting home until 9:30 or so. Needless to say, it was pretty intense. July saw me job hunting and interviewing at any school that called me. Finally, at the end of the month, I got a job...thankfully.

The past two weeks I've been in new teacher training and prep at the school. Now I have one business day before the kids arrive. It's exciting and scary. Let's hope things work out. I'll keep you posted. So, technically, I am no longer a cube dancer...as I no longer sit in a cube...but the name will stay the same, because I kinda like it....

And that's where I've been and what I've been doing...you?

My Body Guides The Direction I Go In

2008-06-17T11:18:00.003-04:00

So pretty much everyone knows that I love Alanis Morisette. Naturally when I found out Flavors of Entanglement would be coming out, I got excited. It's been three years since her last album "dropped" (though I have a friend that says Alanis doesn't drop, she just kinda puts it out there). I had heard from Howard that Rolling Stones gave the album a good review. I had all intentions of coming late into work on Tuesday the 10th to purchase the album. Fortunately I received a little email from iTunes saying that I could preorder it, and get six bonus songs (YAY!) AND preorder tickets for her upcoming tour. Naturally that was the selection I made.

To be honest, it isn't my favorite album by her. I like it, but it's not my favorite (which, I think, still stands at Under Rug Swept). It has a nice mix of songs that are destined for club remixes and calmer, more emotional songs. Now, if you are a fan of Alanis, you'll probably enjoy it. It's as emotional and raw (yes, even the "dance" songs) as her previous ones (which, I think is partly why I like her...she always seems to write from herself). Now, if you're not necessarily a huge fan of hers, but like her music, here are some songs that I would recommend downloading:

Underneath
Not As We
In Praise of the Vulnerable Man
Moratorium
Torch
Incomplete
and if you can download it, It's A Bitch To Grow Up

Below are the lyrics for one of my favorites, Incomplete.

One day I’ll find relief
I’ll be arrived and I’ll be a friend to my friends who know how to be friends

One day I’ll be at peace
I’ll be enlightened and I’ll be married with children and maybe adopt

One day I will be healed
I will gather my wounds forge the end of tragic comedy

I have been running so sweaty my whole life
Urgent for a finish line
And I have been missing the rapture this whole time
Of being forever incomplete

One day, my mind will retreat, and I’ll know god and I’ll be constantly one with her night dusk and day
One day I’ll be secure, like the women I see on their 30th anniversaries

I have been running so sweaty my whole life
Urgent for a finish line
And I have been missing the rapture this whole time
Of being forever incomplete

Ever unfolding
Ever expanding
Ever adventurous and torturous
But never done

One day, I will speak freely
I’ll be less afraid
And measured outside of my poems and lyrics and art
One day I will be faith-filled
I’ll be trusting and spacious authentic and grounded and whole

I have been running so sweaty my whole life
Urgent for a finish line
And I have been missing the rapture this whole time
Of being forever incomplete

All in all, I've enjoyed it thus far.

How To Survive A Power Outage

2008-06-05T12:01:00.001-04:00

In 41 Easy Steps

1) Leave work later than usual because you know traffic is going to suck - pee before you leave
2) Take longer to get home because people are stupid and can't drive
3) Wait for the policemen to allow you through the light since the lights aren't even flashing and without order, people slip into caveman-like behavior
4) Realize that power is out in your entire city - note tonight is probably not the best night to go to Michael's to get that matting board you've been meaning to buy
5) Get home - make sure no trees fell through your house
6) Let the dog out - feel bad for her as it starts pouring down rain again
7) Search the house for a flashlight
8) Realize that you put it somewhere but have no idea where
9) Grab the tea light from your home fragrance oil burner
10) Continue looking for the flashlight in hopes that you stumble upon it
11) Take the circle light that was in the closet and runs on batteries, out of the closet and beginning walking around the house with it
12) Let the now soaking dog back in the house
13) Dry her off
14) Lay down for a little nap
15) Wake up an hour and a half later...hungry
16) Walk downstairs - let the dog out again
17) Turn the push button light on again - search the kitchen
18) Let dog back in - repeat drying exercise
19) Realize that you have no food that you can eat that doesn't require cooking
20) Curse yourself - loudly - for not going to the grocery store on Tuesday when you meant to
21) Think to where you could get food - remember that the power is out everywhere
22) Curse again - loudly - this time Mother Nature for being emo and knocking power out everywhere
23) Remember you could grill the pork chops you were thawing for dinner
24) Remind yourself that you don't know how to use the grill in the backyard and are afraid of blowing up the house
25) Notice a can of tuna fish
26) Eat said can of tuna fish
27) Remain hungry
28) Give dog medicine with peanut butter so she'll eat it
29) Grab a spoon and eat directly from jar of peanut butter
30) Come to the realization that the Rocky Road ice cream in the freezer will melt if it's not eaten
31) Open freezer and, with the spoon used for peanut butter, begin eating ice cream in the dark
32) Realize that this sort of behavior is probably why you feel uncomfortable with your body
33) Don't care and continue eating
34) Let the dog out one more time
35) Repeat Step 18
36) Carry dog upstairs
37) Go to bathroom in the dark
38) Go to sleep
39) Wake up at midnight when the power turns back on and the alarm clock is blaring
40) Curse yourself for not remembering to turn the alarm off before going to sleep
41) Go back to sleep

Note To Self...

2008-05-03T16:44:00.002-04:00

Add this to my calendar...

Wii Training will be held at 10:30 a.m. at the Margaret Schweinhaut Senior Center, 1000 Forest Glen Road, Silver Spring. This is an introductory and practice session of a new video game.

I might have to skip work for it...

Over A Month

2008-04-17T19:42:00.002-04:00

I can't believe it has been over a month since I've written anything on here. I have a really good reason, I do...one I can't share at this time, but I promise you, it's a damn good reason.

I had this really great post about these people who did this stuff at this place with these other people, but I can't remember it at this time...doesn't that just suck? Well, it's kind of lost its appeal to me as well, which is also a major factor.

I know this is vague, and uninteresting, but I wanted to write something quickly while I have a free minute. I'll have more time in May and will hopefully dive back into writing a blog post or two...who knows.

Until then, well, to be honest I probably won't be posting. It's nothing personal, really. It's not you, it's me...

Home

2008-03-10T18:00:00.002-04:00

My mom relayed that she frequently gets questioned whether or not my brother will ever "return home". My mom is from the Toledo area, grew up there, and has recently returned there. I was moved to the DC area when I was five months old and my brother when he was 3 (almost 3).

I bring this up because I recently received a Myspace message from my cousin asking if I was coming home for Easter. What's interesting is that while my mom, aunts, uncles and cousins almost all live in Toledo (and ALL of them live in Ohio), Ohio isn't home. I enjoy visiting Ohio...for short spurts of time. But it isn't home. It never was...except for when I was at Marietta, but that was the opposite side of the state.

My mother understands this and when people ask her, she tells them that Ohio isn't really our home. It's hers, yes, but not ours. I think it's interesting, because on one side, yes, it could be viewed as home, as that's where my family is (and as Robert Frost said "Home is the place where, when you have to go there, they let you in"). But on the other side, it is very much not my home. I have a very different attitude on people who live out there (not just my family, but many people that live in that area) and I've only really known DC as my home.

No great insight into what it all means. Just thought it was interesting...

Constant Movement

2008-02-29T09:01:00.002-05:00

So I'm busy. This is why I haven't posted a real post in like FOREVER (I'm spending way too much time around high school students to talk like that)! Unfortunately, at this point in time, I can't really talk about it...I will in a couple of weeks. Promise...

In unrelated news, HAPPY LEAP YEAR DAY!!!! For those you born on this day, happy birthday (since you only hear it once every four years...)

Logistic Question

2008-02-28T12:18:00.001-05:00

Would it be inappropriate or unprofessional to want to take my coworker's head and repeatedly smash into their keyboard?

Is that a bad thought to have?

Amaerican Gladiators

2008-02-18T11:29:00.002-05:00

I'm watching the American Gladiators finale from last night. And something dawned on me. There was an episode where Siren was doing the joust and she twice fell to her knees. Apparently if the Gladiator falls to his or her knees (both) they automatically lose. However, in the finale, Shannay (I don't think I spelled that right) immediately fell to her knees. She basically spent the entire thirty seconds sitting on her knees or on her butt as Crush (my favorite) pummeled her. But it was too hard for Crush since Shannay was too low. It was the only time that Crush didn't knock her opponent off. How far is it that the Gladiator can't fall on their knees but the contender can sit on the platform?

I don't like it. You shoulda won, Crush!

You Oughta Know

2008-02-11T15:07:00.001-05:00

As many know from a previous post, I got the chance to see Alanis on Friday night. And we all know that I love Alanis. She sang two new songs, at least one from the new album that was originally due in February, but now won't be coming out until later...which is a bummer since now it won't be out until after my birthday.

She sang a lot of Jagged Little Pill (All I Really Want, You Oughta Know, Hand In Pocket, Ironic), Uninvited, Thank U, Eight Easy Steps...I feel like she sang more but I can't think of anymore. Oh, she sang a verse of My Humps. Which was great. It was kinda sad that she didn't sing any from Under Rug Swept (as that's my favorite album). She didn't even sing Hands Clean. She stuck with most of her commercial hits, since it was a Matchbox Twenty concert and she was kinda tagging along...which, fyi, Matchbox Twenty puts on a pretty good show, not that I stayed that long for it.

One of the things that I love the most about Alanis is that she sounds like her album. She's a good singer who actually sounds like she does when she records. I'd really like to see her with people who actually know most of her songs so that she can sing more "obscure" songs.

Oh well, another concert.

Thank You, Thank You India

2008-02-05T12:43:00.000-05:00

I'm so excited because on Friday I get to see Alanis!!!! Given, I have to see stupid Matchbox Twenty and some stupid band I've never heard of (Munch Mouth or something like that). But ALANIS!!!!!! I believe the nerd term is "w00t"!

Why? How Could You Do This To Me?

2008-01-30T12:49:00.001-05:00

Dear Mr. Edwards,

How could you drop out of the race? You were my last hope for a semi-decent president. Not to hurt your feelings or anything, but I was originally going to vote for Dennis Kucinich, we share many of the same views, but I looked at your platform and I kinda liked a lot of what you were saying. I'm sad that I'm now going to have to choose between one of two people that I don't really think would be good presidents, because I'm certainly not voting for any of the Republican candidates (especially with RuG dropping out as well). Ralph Nader once said "If you vote for the lesser of two evils, you're still voting for evil" or thereabouts. That's how I feel right now. You were my "not evil" vote...mostly because of your pretty hair, but also because you seemed nice, down to earth and not in the election because your husband was the former President or Oprah decided that you were a good candidate. And you have a nice head of hair, which, as someone with thinning hair that is destined for the "horseshoe" bald look, I can appreciate.

You see, Mr. Edwards (coulda been Mr. President), you actually seem like you could do the job (and not to be mean, but if Bush can do the job with some level of competency, albeit a low level of competency, anyone can do it). But more than just doing the job, you seem like you could do the job relatively well, which would be a serious improvement from your predecessor.

May I be honest for a second, Mr. Edwards? I don't like the other two candidates. Sure, I like Hillary and think she is a total bad ass. And I like Obama because he seems to have some morals to some extent...but it's different than my liking towards you. You see, and I know that this is terrible to say, but it seems to me like Obama and Hillary are only there because of their race and gender, respectively. Yes, there have been previous African Americans who have run for president, and yes, there have been women who have run for president, but neither of them really had a good chance of winning. Now we have these two candidates who seem like one of them could win (if they would stop bickering with each other like little school girls [or boys]), but it's almost as if they are only there because of their race/gender. So many people have latched on to Hill-Hill and BOb (as I like to call him and will henceforth call him), but I don't think that they have necessarily done it because of their platform or stance on the issues. They want one of them to win simply for the precedent behind it. Does anyone really know where they stand? It's hard to tell (which has always been a problem with the Democrats because they're so focused on being different than Republicans that they don't really stand for anything on their own). I mean really, people were hopping on the Hill-Hill BOb bandwagon before they even said they were running and long before their platform was ever posted. Let's take a quick look at a couple of aspects of their platform that tend to be a little confusing. On June 15th, 2007 BOb stated that he wanted to "give every family the chance" to be successful. This is great! Nobel. I love the idea. However throughout his entire website the one mention of GLBT is not in mention to their families but to their service in the military, which, don't get me wrong, definitely needs addressing. But GLBT people have families. They have rights...well, some rights. They're denied 1001 or 1100 or some insane number of rights. Not once is this issue addressed...at least not once that I could find. Even in the civil rights section of his site there was only mention of the people in the 50's and 60's who marched. Not once did I see sexual orientation mentioned on his website. Not once...how can you give every family a chance if you ignore 10% of them? Hill-Hill, on the other hand at least mentions them. She includes them in her hate crime bills. But that's about it. And while she has this strong agenda for women (which is great), what if they are lesbians?

And this is just one issue. Why did I focus on this? I'll tell you, Mr. Edwards, because while both of these candidates have some great platform ideas, they are both minorities. That is to say, a woman and an African American man. Why is this significant? It's not because I think that this limits their ability to accomplish goals. Quite the opposite, really. My concern is that of the three forerunners (you being the third) it was the non-minority, white, heterosexual male with pretty hair who was the only one who stood up for ALL minorities. Even a woman and an African American man (who in theory, both have faced discrimination throughout their lives) have become so tunnel visioned that they are unable to really be welcoming and accepting of 10% of our population. 10% of the population is a pretty substantial amount (and actually Kingsley said that it was closer to 1 in 8). I think that many people think that because they are minorities, Hill-Hill and BOb will stand up for everyone...it doesn't seem that way.

Needless to say (although I will) you were my last hope. You seemed to stand for something and have good hair care. I'll miss you, Mr. Edwards. And I'll wait until 2012 to vote for you again...it makes me a little sad that I never got to vote for you since our elections haven't occurred yet (which is stupid, but that's a different letter). Stay strong, John, I'm looking forward to 2012 when I can vote for you.

Yours Truly,
Ph

Did You Know...?

2008-01-29T10:09:00.000-05:00

Did you know that the naked mole rat is immune to acid and chili peppers? How fascinating is that?

The Article

The naked mole rat is also cold-blooded, the only known mammal to be cold-blooded.

Do you know how they figured out that it was immune to acid? They tried to poison it. With acid, of course. The naked mole rat just licked it off. It should be a new super hero "Naked Mole Rat" immune to spices and acid...hmmmmm.

Would It Be Bad...

2008-01-23T10:27:00.000-05:00

If I haven't taken down my Christmas tree yet? In my defense, I don't light it anymore. And at least I won't have a fake tree sitting by my garage until June like last year...

Do What?

2008-01-21T14:58:00.000-05:00

This list (of greatest superheroines) presents two different problems.

The first is that it excludes so many great characters that were just completely neglected (Buffy, Faith, Xena, Aeon Flux, River, etc, etc, etc...). But the bigger problem that you might have noticed on the first page...

Keri Russell, best known for her riveting role in Felicity, will be playing the part of Wonder Woman in a new direct to DVD video. Fortunately it is not the Joss Whedon movie that's supposed to come out in 2009 (which was supposed to have been released in 2007). Whew. But still, Felicity? As Wonder Woman? Let me just remind you of the plot of Felicity:

Felicity knows some guy who is leaving for college in NYC. Rather than follow her own path and become her own woman, she follows the guy to college only to realize that she's stupid and he doesn't love her. As a result, four years of college drama ensues that leaves our young girls thinking they have to follow men wherever they go to make something of themselves...sounds just like what Wonder Woman would have done

While I understand that this is just a direct to DVD and it is only Felicity's voice...i don't like it.

AI + Broadway = ?

2008-01-17T11:28:00.000-05:00

So I found out today that Clay Aiken (from American Idol fame) will be joining the cast of Spamalot. This follows the success of multiple AI cast members to join the cast of multiple Broadway shows.

Some examples include:
Tamyra Gray in RENT (I went to Junior High with her, as a side note).

Diana DeGarmo in Hairspray and West Side Story.

Constantine Maroulis in The Wedding Singer (sounds like a stupid show, but who knows, haven't seen it)

Fantasia Barrino in The Color Purple

and some guy in Tarzan.

Is American Idol becoming a journey into Broadway, since most of these people were not fortunate enough to win? Is it just the star power? Is it an attempt to make money for Broadway since people know these names? Or is it just Clay Aiken returning to his roots? I've not seen Spamalot but I know it's supposed to be funny, and I'm not sure how funny Clay is. Not judging, just thinking on paper.

HEADLINE: DC Metro Area Shuts Down

2008-01-17T10:23:00.000-05:00

I can see it now. These 1 to 6 inches of snow are going to completely cripple the DC metro area. I've made comments about it before, but this time I'm pretty much serious about it. These are the signs:

1) My 17 mile drive (which takes an ungodly 45+ minutes) had 11 snow plows and salt trucks on the side of the road. In comparison I saw one snow flake, which could have actually been debris from the car in front of me.

2) As soon as the snow started, my coworkers started packing up their things and began leaving.

3) My training for today was canceled and I'm out of here. I might be home by 5:00 due to inclement weather...

River's Return

2008-01-16T10:42:00.001-05:00

I don't know if anyone is planning on watching The Sarah Conner Chronicles. Now, I was not planning on watching it at all, because I can't really get emotionally involved in a new tv show, but with both Pushing Daisies and Heroes on hiatus at this time, I'm stuck with Project Runway, which is like a train wreck, only not as bloody.

However, I happened to catch a preview of it yesterday while watching the last two applicants on American Idol. I saw a brief glimpse of someone. And then I researched it and it was her. I'm so excited. For those of you who watched Firefly or Serenity will know who I'm talking about (she was also in The 4400 for a couple episodes).

Yes, River Tam is back. Given, she isn't playing River Tam, but Summer Glau is playing a Terminator or something that looks like she is going to go River-Tam-Postal on people (which you can best see in Serenity). So now I kind of want to see The Sarah Connor Chronicles even though I really have no interest in the story.

If I'm going to geek out, I believe the phrase is: w00t!

Toothpaste for Dinner?

2008-01-15T13:30:00.000-05:00

I don't know if any of you read this or look at this, but it's pretty darn funny.

Toothpaste For Dinner

Here is one that I saw that I really enjoyed, though many of them are super funny as well.

Happy New Year!

I Can't Work Like This

2008-01-14T18:44:00.000-05:00

I had to go to a client site today, which, well, the details are really irrelevant to the story. But there was no coffee that I am aware of. Yes, you know what that means. I had to function on only the coffee I was able to provide myself. This means that I had to work with only a gallon and a half of coffee yumminess. How am I supposed to work like that? That's just not normal...

OMG, I Totally Forgot

2008-01-11T14:36:00.000-05:00

I totally forgot to wish Muslims a Happy New Year that started on Wednesday night.

Reflection of the Government?

2008-01-11T10:44:00.000-05:00

Is this just me or does anyone else view this as being reflective of the government?

FBI Wiretaps Dropped

Who doesn't pay the phone bill? If you don't pay the phone bill, your phone gets cut off. Who you think you are, a super star? No.

This is the problem...the government thinks that they can get away with anything simply because they are the government. But no, you can't. Although you are the government, you still have rules that you need to follow.

Ha...Ha!

This Is American Gladiators

2008-01-07T13:08:00.000-05:00

When I was younger I grew up watching and loving American Gladiators. I wanted to be an American Gladiator, but mostly because it looks much less painful for them than the competitors. So when I heard that they were releasing a new one, I was so excited and of course I watched for the entire two hours yesterday. And these are my thoughts and questions:

1) Justice, you are scary. You are huge and hulking and frighten me. A lot. You make a good gladiator and I wouldn't want to see you in a dark alley.
2) Titan, please, stop posing after everything you do. Throw the guy down the 30 foot pyramid and just stand there. Don't pose like a model.
3) Titan, don't ever call the judge "Big daddy" again...it's unbecoming of a gladiator.
4) Crush, I love the bodice. It's hot.
5) How does a gladiator already have a "signature move" on Hang Tough? There has only been two episodes...
6) There are way too many commercials.
7) I don't like Hit and Run. I want to see gladiators pummel the contestants with their hands or with some cushioned object. I don't want to see a giant weighted rock flying at contestants. It isn't as fun.
8) Wolf, please stop howling. I know it is meant to intimidate, it's just annoying.
9) Um, what's with the barrel roll on the Eliminator?
10) Did we really need to see the girl's knee pop out again and again and again? I mean really? It was nasty...
11) How do you go from 24 people (12 men and 12 women) down to eight? I don't understand the math. Is it just me? After the first competition it would be down to six of each...I don't get where you get only 4 of each gender. I'm confused...

That's it for now. Let's see what happens tonight...

NetFlix

2008-01-03T12:20:00.000-05:00

I was given a NetFlix subscription for Christmas. I've gone through and added about 50 movies that I haven't seen yet and added them to my queue (I'm very behind the times). Now, if you have any suggestions as to what I should add, by all means, let me know (for those of you who read Craig you may notice a similar post).

Movie taste wise I am very open to many different types and genres. I don't particularly like Jim Carrey and probably won't watch any of his movies. I also don't generally like potty humor, so while you may suggest it, just be aware that I probably won't rent it...

Yay Big T!

2008-01-02T09:53:00.000-05:00

As I left the safety of my cube this morning to use the bathroom, waiting by the elevator were two gentlemen from the company that shares our floor. They were just talking, chatting, whatever. All of a sudden, through the glass doors they saw someone that they work with. In their excitement they shout "Yay, Big T!" Yes. They yell this through glass doors, arms raised.

Good Lord, all we need is a keg and a passed out girl with her skirt over her head and we're in a frat house...

Happy New Year to us all...

Demons'll Charm You With A Smile

2007-12-28T11:11:00.000-05:00

I saw Sweeney Todd: The Demon Barber of Fleet Street on Wednesday. It was, um, bloody.

For those of you who don't know the story, Google it. Just kidding. It tells the story of Bill Barker (I think that's his real name) who was shipped out by some judge (played by Alan Rickman, who all I can see is Snape) so that the judge could get Barker's wife. Barker returns 15 or some years later under the guise of Sweeney Todd. He begins to seek revenge on the judge. So Sweeney Todd returns to wreak havoc.

It was ok. I don't think that it was great, so I was a little disappointed. It was very gruesome. The blood and slitting of throats didn't bother me. It was the dropping of people on their heads that bothered me more.

There were a lot of songs that were more spoken than sung. Helena Bonham Carter was creepy as usual (can she play a non-creepy part? Does she always look creepy? I love her). Johnny Depp was ok. To be honest I wasn't wildly impressed by him. Some of his songs, however, were fantastic. Alan Rickman was fantastic...as per usual. The kid who played Toby (Ed Sanders) was fantastic. He was really the shining moment of the film. I look forward to seeing more of him, which hopefully we will.

The cinematography was great. Typical Tim Burton, which is good...and what I would have hoped. The musical was a great choice for Burton and allowed him to really play with what he is best at. I thought the musical also used the medium well. Unlike some previous musical-made-movies where it was basically the stage show on screen (i.e. RENT), Burton's talent really showed through and was fitting.

Would I recommend watching it? Sure. I wouldn't see it again, though.

A Thought On Reading

2007-12-20T09:20:00.000-05:00

I'm constantly searching the web for new blogs to read, I especially like to find people that a) comment on my blog and b) list me on their blog. I do this because it's nice to do. I also do it because of the few people that have randomly found me, are really funny. This is how I started reading Howard a couple of months ago (side note, I think I'm going to be in Denver for work around President's Day, so you'll have to give me some hot sights to see since I haven't been there in almost 20 years). This is also how I stumbled upon two other blogs (both of whom are hysterical and I would recommend visiting).

Eventually they will get added to my list, however, there is a very legitimate reason as to why they aren't. I'm currently working on Version 3.0, in which both of these blogs will be added, I just haven't had the time that I really need to do all the work that I need to do. The problem is that I'll be switching over to the "new" blogger, which includes labels, which I love for some reason, and I've been having some trouble with the three columns on the new blogger. So when I actually get the upgrade, it will probably look completely different. No date at this time.

So, without further ado, two more blogs you should at least consider:

Puntabulous
and
i am bossy

Go...read...

Talks of Running

2007-12-11T09:18:00.000-05:00

So I decided last week to join Spark People which is basically this motivational website that helps you accomplish your nutritional and fitness goals. I've set a goal for myself and it has all this great diet stuff and helps you figure out what you should be eating. Of course I don't follow it, it is the holidays and all that so it's hard to eat healthy...baby steps, as they say.

However, I have decided to start running again and have chosen two runs next year. Well, two marathons (Flying Pig in Cincinnati [which I just gotta run this year] and San Antonio in November as it's the first one) and two additional runs. One is 2008 and one is 2009. The first is this: The Santa Speedo Run in Boston. Given, it's probably really cold, but it's only two miles. And I'm not ready to run it on Saturday, but next year. The second is this challenge that was started in 2004, which I might have posted before. It's the Krispy Kreme Challenge. In this one you have to run two miles to the Krispy Kreme store, eat a dozen glazed donuts (containing 2400 calories) and run the two miles back, in under one hour without vomiting everywhere. BTW, the run itself will only help you lose about 400 calories, so you're totally in the negative. But it would be fun! Anyone up for it 2009? Tiggs?

I Think It's Called Irony...

2007-11-28T15:53:00.001-05:00

I was randomly trolling on myspace (I'm not even going to link, because i'm a little embarrassed by the fact that i take part in it) and I came across an interesting little headline thing.

For those of you who are not familiar with myspace, you can have a little headline, I've posted an example below:

I picked this random guy, no clue who it is so I hope he doesn't get mad at me...but this guy doesn't have a headline. But where I circled, there are two little quote symbols. Now, I came across one guy, who, I gathered was in the military and on duty right now since his location was listed as IQ (which, I doubt is a reference to his intelligence and actually a reference to Iraq...but that's just a guess).

His headline was listed as such...now please understand that this is a) not 100% accurate, this is the best I can remember and b) it's very inappropriate but for the sake of my journalistic integrity I'm going to post it as verbatim as I can remember, which I know is in and of itself ironic...but this was his headline:

If you don't like our fucking country, get the fuck out of it you fucking fuckers.

Now, there might have been a mother or two thrown in there to expand the vocabulary level. Hmmm...

Understand something, I have the utmost respect for the military. I really, truly do. I've said this many times. I could never do it, and it is, in many ways, necessary to have a military to keep us safe. I don't doubt that, nor do I disagree with that. Like many people of the liberal persuasion, I am hesitant about this particular war. I'm not going to get into the schematics about it. I don't want to argue with people about it. So if you're going to argue with me about my beliefs, please just shut your pie hole. I'm allowed my opinion and you are allowed yours, no matter how wrong that might be.

Does anyone else see some level of irony in this whole thing? Anyone? Bueller? Or is it just me?

I'm Not Dead

2007-11-19T15:15:00.000-05:00

So, not dead. Had this great post about some stupid girl who pulled a feather off my wing at a Halloween party (hate her) but it seems a little dated at this point and not worth bringing up.

Off to Toledo tomorrow. I'm doing my best to contain my enthusiasm.

Back on Saturday for the 10 Year Reunion. Don't worry, I'll update on that one...because it should be interesting, if nothing else.

Let's see, I have more to talk about, but I can't talk about it yet. Not trying to keep anyone in suspense, so I probably shouldn't have mentioned it. Oh well...too late now.

Last two points: Alanis has a new album coming out in February (can't wait).

She's also going on tour. So the most exciting thing at this point in time, aside from the fact that I might get to go home an hour earlier than I thought and not come into work tomorrow is the fact that on February 8th I get to go see Alanis (WHOOO HOOO) at the Patriot Center in Fairfax, VA, that backwater of a commonwealth (not even a real state). I kid, I kid. Well, not about the concert part. Or the fact that it is a commonwealth.

Peace!

A Play With Words

2007-10-24T12:11:00.000-04:00

So, anyone who knows me, or reads regularly, will know that I enjoy words. I like the way they sound in your mouth before you spit them out. Or the way that you choke on them when it's super emotional.

Yesterday I was checking out Wikipedia, because it's the bomb site, and also because I was looking for the word for someone who has a fear of telephones. Since I consider myself to have a mild case of this, well, I'll call it telephoniphobia because it doesn't actually exist according to Wikipedia, which is indeed disappointing.

But there were three interesting points that I stumbled upon. The first is that arachibutyrophobia is not considered a valid phobia. For those who don't know, arachibutyrophobia is the fear of peanut butter sticking to the roof of your mouth. Now, many people may think that this is fake and not a real thing. But I can tell you that it is. I know someone who has it. She won't eat peanut butter because she doesn't want to not be able to talk as loudly as she can while not eating peanut butter. But she also does not even like to watch me give Cider medicine because I give it to her with peanut butter and it gets stuck in her mouth for a bit.

The second interesting point is that coulrophobia is an actual phobia, not just a made up one. This is the fear of clowns...and not just restricted to evil clowns, clowns in general. The aforementioned victim of arachibutyrophobia also has coulrophobia...which, in my opinion is the worst possible combination to have since I couldn't tell you how many times I've had a clown trying to feed me peanut butter. But in all seriousness, I have a slight case of this because I hate clowns. But I'm not really afraid of them.

The final discovery that I made was in the form of a new phobia...one I'm not surprised about, but I had never seen it written before. It's a fun word, and this is what ties the original sentence about joining words to the current thought of phobias. Hexakosioihexekontahexaphobia. Isn't that a great word? Don't ask me how to pronounce it, because I occasionally get Chopin wrong, so I wouldn't trust me thoughts. Does anyone want to guess what it means? And here is part of the reason that I love words. If you really look into it, you could probably pretty easily figure it out.

All The Buzz

2007-10-23T10:54:00.000-04:00

I know I'm a little behind, but all the buzz is this:
Top Story

For those of you who don't know, Albus Dumbledore from Harry Potter is gay. Apparently this is something that is quite scandalous. From what I am able to understand, and I don't know everything, Rowling noticed a scene from the upcoming Harry Potter Six movie script where Dumbledore likes a girl. She corrected the director.

Now, as I am not a published author or anything of that nature (well, actually I am a published author, but I didn't make any money from it and nobody has ever heard of it), I speak (read: type) only as a fan of literature and someone who has spent a portion of their life studying it. I also speak as someone who has read the Harry Potter books, and as said student of literature, is slightly skeptical and undecided about the Harry Potter franchise.

Again, while I am not a published author of fiction, I feel that I can say this with certain authority (mostly stemming from myself). There are a couple of problems with Rowling's Perez Hilton-style outing of a beloved character (not that him being gay makes him any less loved, please, don't read that). First of all, why was this done after the series was over? This question further leads me to this one, if it was done AFTER the series was over that leads to two conclusions. The first one being, clearly this wasn't important enough to make clear in the actual story...why bring it up now? What's the relevance? Secondly, if this was so important to the plot, which clearly it wasn't, Rowling didn't do a very good job of portraying this. Personally, I never even viewed Dumbledore as anything other than the Headmaster (hehe, headmaster...which is so much funnier now). He was this guy who sacrificed himself for the greater good of the world. Her (Rowling's) portrayal of him never indicated that he was even concerned with ANY sexual thoughts, much less homosexual ones.

Although it seems obvious that Rowling had intended this to be some great unveiling that was meant to, well, I don't really get her purpose, and it would seem that she meant it with the greatest respect as Dumbledore was the one of the most selfless people in the stories, there is still no purpose...there's no reasoning behind it. He's character's sexuality is irrelevant. This is obvious based on the fact that it was brought up after the fact. As the writer, it is her responsibility to, if necessary, make that point clear. So she either failed in her responsibility or, and I think that this is more accurate, the fact wasn't necessary to the plot or character development.

Dumbledore should have remained asexual, for lack of a better term. Why? Because it isn't important. Ron, Harry, Hermoine, and the other characters growing into their adulthood, their sexuality is important, because it is a part of growing up. As we followed them from the age of 11 onward, it is necessary for them to experience the pains of self-discovery. Dumbledore was old when we met him. He was old at the end. He's sexuality wasn't important. What about Minerva's? I always thought she was little lesbianic. Why don't we know whether or not she was? Because it is irrelevant to the overall effects of the story. The fact that this whole Dumbledore outing is such a major deal is because most people really didn't care one way or the other. No one wants to think about old people having sex. Ew.

Now, I might be able to understand the fact that Rowling thought it was important to tell the director so he could correct the scene in the movie. But even then, that is questionable. Many people, both hetero- and homosexuals, experiment with the opposite gender of their attraction. It wouldn't be completely out of the question for Dumbledore to find an interest in a young girl, even if he were to be gay. Now if he did that shortly before his death, well, that'd be u-day nasty.

In short, while I respect Rowling for her creating such a powerful, loving and caring homosexual character (even if it was after the fact) there was no need for it. Could she have done it to further piss off the religious right by making the most Christ-like character be gay? Or just because it had been on her heart for so long that she just had to tell the world? Who knows, and frankly, like his homosexuality, it's pretty irrelevant.

Why Do You Have To Skin A Cat More Than Once?

2007-10-18T14:13:00.001-04:00

Shouldn't one way work? And if it doesn't, do you really still want that skin? And what do you need to skin a cat for anyway? I don't understand that...who wants cat skin, well, except for a coat. Maybe a little hat that you nickname "Hotsy-Totsy" or something.

All that having been said and gotten off my mind, I want it noted that I'm not really a cat person. I mean, there is a certain degree that I prefer cats over people, but I prefer most things over people...but that's more my dislike of people than my like of other things. I guess that this all stemmed from Thundercats, which, oddly enough, happens to be one of my favorite childhood shows. But let's face it, Cheetara is one scary he/she (not that there is anything wrong with being transgendered, please, don't interpret it that way). For those of you who watched the show, Cheetara instilled fear in the enemy, not through her incredible speed or that little stick thing that seemed to have a psychic connection with her and grew at will, but because of her oddly deep voice that was deeper than Panthro (and speaking of Panthro, could he have been more stereotypically black, I mean, seriously?) And the mullet, well, I won't touch the mullet, except to say that it was the worst mullet in the show until that Puma girl showed up, because she ROCKED the mullet.

Where was I going with this? Oh, right, disliking cats. I like big cats, you know, cheetahs, tigers, leopards, snow leopards (pretty coat, pretty coat) and pumas. But I like them behind bars or moats or dead, which is how we generally see animals in the National Zoo here in DC. I do not like cats slinking through my yard. I do not like cats on my car. I do not like cats on a card. I do not like cats after a long night in the bar...ok, so I kinda lost the rhythm there, but you get the idea. I do not like cats, Sam I Am. To quote Angels in America: "Cats are stupid, high-strung predators. Babylonians used to seal them up in bricks".

I don't really get the idea of cats. Dogs, they know what you are feeling. They are empathic and come to you and cuddle with you and pretend to like you because you feed them. They like attention. Cats pretend to like getting pet and humor humans by letting us bring them food and clean their litter box for them. For instance, Carly has a cat. Well, it used to be Meghan's but after the divorce (read move), Meghan's boyfriend couldn't have the cat because of allergy. So Carly got it. Now cat loves me. She comes over and brushes up against me...sits next to me. Acts like the sweetest thing when I am around, not like the three-headed cat faced demon of hell (which I know is actually a dog) that I hear about. So I always pet her. Again, I like animals as a general rule, and so I pet her. If I stop petting her before she is done, she moves back under my hand to get more Ph-lovin'. But if I pet her too long, she bites at me. Now, it doesn't usually hurt, but she still does it.

We need to get something clear here. I don't want to pet you. I pet you because you come to me. You don't need to bite me, you can just leave. I won't chase you down. Don't worry, I ain't pressed to pet you. Who you think you are, a superstar? No.

That's why I don't like cats. Well, that and the nightmares that I get when I think about Cheetara.

To Give You An Idea

2007-10-15T09:44:00.000-04:00

This post is just to let you know the type of dork (or is it geek?) that I am.

I was at a birfday party this past Saturday. It was supposed to be a Pirate party (though I didn't get the memo as I was a guest and not actually invited) but a couple of people just dressed up in general. One of the girls there had two holes in her neck with blood dripping down (like she had just been bitten by a vampire). She was explaining how the costume originally came with both the bite marks and vampire teeth and she had started the night by wearing both. In all seriousness, I turned to her and said, "why would you have both the teeth and the bite marks? Once you're a vampire you don't have the bite marks anymore."

She turned to me and said, "I didn't think anyone would question it...although it did cross my mind." Which makes me feel a little better.

Carly responded by saying: "Well, you can always count on Phillip to call you out on that."

Who knows that vampires wouldn't have bite marks? Furthermore, who would call someone out on it? Only a dork...

So Here's A Thought

2007-10-12T16:45:00.000-04:00

Now I'm thinking, where would I be located if I were a bag of pita chips?

My initial thought would be in the chip aisle.

Not at the front of the store that bears no relevance to chips.

Random Thought

2007-10-11T16:02:00.000-04:00

I just got the most random email in my spam account. It was from Amazon. It said that people who have bought Gregory Maguire (writer of Wicked) books have also bought the Jersey Boys.

Now, the reason that this is weird is two-fold. The first is that I don't ever remember buying a Gregory Maguire book...ever. Much less a Gregory Maguire book from Amazon. Secondly, what do those two have in common? The only possible connection that I can come up with is Wicked the musical, which, in my honest opinion, is so far off the book that it isn't even worth comparing the two. Other than that I can't piece together a similarity.

Finally Fall

2007-10-11T14:15:00.000-04:00

It's finally fall! YAY!!! We've finally hit temperatures below 80 degrees which makes me happy since heat and I are not friends. It's all hot and stuff in the heat. But fall...it's beautiful. The change of leaves, the cooling of temps, the encroaching feeling of snow, the hay rides and apples and cider and taste of the air. I'M SO EXCITED!!!!

In unrelated news, who wants to do the FIRST EVER Rock 'N Roll San Antonio marathon with me? Any takers? November 18th, 2008???

In further unrelated news, I'm wearing the shirt that has three stains on it (Lavender, Express) They didn't really come out in the wash, but they're super hard to see now. So, oh well, I'm wearing it.

You Know Those Days

2007-10-05T10:09:00.000-04:00

You know those days that just seem like they are going to be bad (Scott knows what I'm talking about, though I must say mine was nothing as bad as his)? That was one of those days yesterday. I got in the car and was half-way through maneuvering accidents that spattered themselves throughout the highways I take. I look down at my pants, and realize that they're dirty. Now, it's a little subtle and hard to see, but I could see it. Grrr.

At about noon I looked down at my shirt (which I love, lavender from Express) and realized that I had a coffee stain on it. WTF? I looked harder and saw another stain on it. Sweet Jebus. You'd think I just rolled out of bed...wait, I did.

By the end of the day I noticed a third coffee stain. Are you kidding me? I looked like a homeless person. Dirty pants. Dirty shirt. Two words: Hot Mess of Garbage.

To quote Piper from Charmed: "Prue, hi, hey, you don't look so good."

I left early and STILL got stuck in an hour and a half of traffic. OMG, can you people drive? I was going to do some stuff that night, but was just worn out from the day of HMOG. I watched an episode of Buffy (Teacher's Pet, I've decided to start at the beginning again, it will keep me amused for about 144 days). And went to bed.

I'm slowly recovering from whatever plague has attacked me with a head cold and wretched cough. Maybe tomorrow I'll be at 100%. Probably not, though.

Updates

2007-10-02T14:49:00.000-04:00

My mother thinks that I'm bulimic. I'm not, don't worry. But if I was going to have an eating disorder, I would want it to be bulimia simply because that way I'd get to eat...a lot. I'm not trying to belittle those people who are bulimic, or make the whole situation sound like a casual decision that people make. I was just stating that my mother thinks I'm bulimic.

Yes, I made a couple of comments about having to throw up my meals, but that was mostly because I ate too much and as a result, didn't feel well. Also I know a lot about bulimia. I watched the Tracy Gold special on Lifetime.

I was at a wedding this past weekend. My baby cousin. It was fun. I became a member of the Toledo Zoo, since I'm up there pretty frequently, I love the zoo, and now it's free. Plus I can take one guest, not that I generally have someone to take, but I did take Elizabeth one day. It was a good time. They had a butterfly house. Elizabeth decided that she wanted to smash two butterflies together to make one great butterfly that had specific qualities of both. Ah, our little mad scientist. I can't wait to see what she does. Of course, she didn't. She's old enough (almost 8, can you believe it?) to know better. She's actually very well behaved, although she does love the tickle bug! She also likes to be hung upside down by her feet. She's odd. She gets it from Josh.

That's about it on my side. Pretty uneventful life at this point, hence the lack of posting.

Greatest Line Ever

2007-09-25T12:40:00.000-04:00

Jerry O'Connell to Vanessa Williams in Ugly Betty

JOC: Have we met before?
VW: We aren't meeting now.

I'm totally using that the next time some says that to me, though no one ever does because I'm look mean.

A Conversation

2007-09-24T20:27:00.000-04:00

Them: What happened to your hand?
Me: I cut myself, to feel the pain.
T: Really?
M: No. I put my hand through a window.
T: Really?
M: Yes, it was in my way.
T: Ouch.
M: Snapping your arm in half hurts more.
[Exit, Stage Left]

I've Said It Before

2007-09-21T14:55:00.000-04:00

And I'll say it again, there is nothing like listening to James Taylor sing Go Tell It On the Mountain and Avalon sing Joy (To the World) in the middle of September. It makes things better.

In unrelated news, the radio station I listen to WGTS 91.9 was at risk of being sold and changing the whole format. So for the past two days they've been having Praise and Prayer days to remind everyone that it's not really in our hands. I would have been sad (and probably would have cried because I've been an emotional wreck for the past week or so) if it had changed because it is the only thing that I listen to (aside from books on CD, which, FYI, The Poisonwood Bible is INCREDIBLE!). But the good news is that the station was not sold and will not be changing its formatting. So I'm happy!

The Changes

2007-09-19T10:44:00.000-04:00

Much has happened in my life recently. Well, nothing major, per se, but many things have happened. I continue to be addicted to Facebook. I've also found the new addiction of Goodreads where people can share the books that they are reading and have read with reviews to them if you so desire. For a book geek, that's like HEAVEN! I'm trying to talk my friend Karen into moving in with me, not to be confused with Karen from my old job. We'll see how that works. Of course that would require my cleaning considerable amounts of things as well as finally moving out of my childhood room.

But, on that note, it will be much easier since I have purchased a new mattress, to go with my new bed that I bought at IKEA. Allegedly it arrived today at 9:17 AM, which, had I known, I would not have gone to work. :) Also, I hope that it does not get stolen. I'll just complain if it is stolen and get another one.

Also, yesterday I went to get my new phone. I've had the last phone for almost three years (at least, maybe four, who knows). Sean, Meghan's brother, has been laughing at me for a couple of months because he works at AT&T and keeps telling me to get a new phone. So I finally did. It looks roughly like...

It's a BlackBerry Pearl. I haven't figured out all the details yet, like how to get my email. But other than that, I'm slowly getting accustomed to the QWERTY row keyboard that is considerably smaller than my Treo (work, doesn't count). I also got the phone for about $100 after rebates and deals from renewing the contract, and 1500 texts a month, so text away, people. I should also be able to see images and video, though I might need my internet or something. Again, I don't really know.

I hope to have my bed picture posted tomorrow so everyone can see it. But that would require me to finish building the bed frame (got lazy and quit) and put the new one up. Hopefully more tomorrow...

The Songs

2007-09-16T00:11:00.000-04:00

There is only one more dose after this one. Which I'm kinda glad, though I will miss the monotony of it all.

1) i've heard it said that people come into our lives for a reason bringing something we must learn and we are led to those who help us most to grow if we let them

2) no one here can love or understand me oh, oh what hard luck stories they all hand me make my bed and light the light i'll arrive late tonight

3) questions i have many, answers but a few but we're here to learn, the spirit burns, to know the greater truth we've all been crucified and they nailed Jesus to the tree and when i'm born again, you're gonna see a change in me God made me for a reason and nothing is in vain redemption comes in many shapes with many kinds of pain oh sweet Jesus if you're listening, keep me ever close to you as i'm stumblin', tumblin', wonderin', as i'm --song title--

4) riches i need not, nor man's empty praise thou mine inheritance, now and always thou and thou only, first in my heart high king of heaven, my treasure thou art

5) ~~i never really knew that she could dance like this she makes a man want to speak spanish como se llama, bonita, mi casa, su casa~~
Hips (Don't Lie) by Shakira kimmmmm

I'll try to write some stuff this week. I've finished my first short story in years about 15 minutes or so ago. I'm happy with it. I'll be meeting with some friends to discuss and edit it. Always my favorite part...

Eh

2007-09-14T12:08:00.000-04:00

I was going to write something deep and meaningful...I really was. But, for personal reasons, I lost it all...well, I lost all motivation to do it today. Maybe tomorrow. Or later. Maybe in a couple of years. Instead I'm going to post this song, Held by Natalie Grant.

Two months is too little.
They let him go.
They had no sudden healing.
To think that providence would
Take a child from his mother while she prays
Is appalling.

Who told us we'd be rescued?
What has changed and why should we be saved from nightmares?
We're asking why this happens
To us who have died to live?
It's unfair.

(Chorus)
This is what it means to be held.
How it feels when the sacred is torn from your life
And you survive.
This is what it is to be loved.
And to know that the promise was
When everything fell we'd be held.

This hand is bitterness.
We want to taste it, let the hatred know our sorrow.
The wise hands opens slowly to lilies of the valley and tomorrow.

(Chorus)
This is what it means to be held.
How it feels when the sacred is torn from your life
And you survive.
This is what it is to be loved.
And to know that the promise was
When everything fell we'd be held.

If hope is born of suffering.
If this is only the beginning.
Can we not wait for one hour watching for our Savior?

(Chorus)
This is what it means to be held.
How it feels when the sacred is torn from your life
And you survive.
This is what it is to be loved.
And to know that the promise was
When everything fell we'd be held.

I wish I could actually play the song for you, because it's better that way. But this will have to do.

An Update

2007-09-13T09:03:00.000-04:00

I don't do clever titles for simple update posts. I know that I haven't posted anything real recently, but I am still alive and kicking. Some days more than others, but alive and all that jazz. There really aren't a whole lot of updates to provide, which can be good or bad, I guess.

I bought my bed the other night. I've been dragging my feet on this because I feel like it's going to be odd moving into my parent's old master bedroom. But I finally purchased the Sleep Number bed and it should be arriving, well, who really knows. Hopefully before I go to Ohio for the wedding.

I've been elected or selected or picked out of necessity, to join the Theatre Advisory Board at my college. I don't know what this entails, other than going to Homecoming for the next three years and one additional meeting in the spring. We'll see. Hopefully I can sway what shows they do :)

The real reason that I have not been writing much is that I've been working on a short story which is something that I haven't done in years. So I've been pretty much taken into writing that for the past week or so, which doesn't excuse the time before that. But don't worry, I still read posts based on my "procrastination" schedule which involves any time I need a break. Since it's been so long since I've worked on a short story, or any writing aside from blogging, for that matter, when it comes, I have to run for it. I'll write more once I get at least a first draft up and running to a point that I'm happy with. I have a weird sense of writing, since most people just get a rough draft out, but I edit as I go, which I know you aren't supposed to do, so it kinda slows me down. Don't worry, still no muse, so I'm still taking applications.

That's really about it for now. Nothing too exciting. I do have two posts in my head which hopefully won't flutter away before I can get them on paper/post. Work is, eh, work...

P.S. Happy Rosh Hashanah and Ramadan, for those of you out there who celebrate those, yes, I know, I'm a day late...sorry.

I Have To Start Real Posting

2007-09-09T22:09:00.001-04:00

So I'm down to my last ten songs (after these five). My "favorites" playlist is looking a little pathetic. I was kinda hoping that the last five would all be Alanis, but I guess with only three left (including these five because I haven't completed listening to this week so there might be one on this list as well...I've only listened to one song thus far) that's impossible. I guess I have to start coming up with some real posts.

1) ~~so i hope that you will tell this tale tomorrow it will help your heart remember and relive it will help you feel the anger and the sorrow and forgive~~
Why We Tell The Story from Once On This Island Amy Stewart

2) and you're like a 90's Jesus and you revel in your psychosis how dare you and you sample concepts like hors d'euvres and you eat their questions for dessert is it just me or is it hot in here?

3) to all your friends you're delirious so consumed in all your doom.... (oohh mmm) trying hard to fill the emptiness, the pieces gone,left the puzzle undone, ain't that the way it is?

4) though geraldine played hard to get, uh-huh-huh geraldo knew he'd woo her ye-het he showed his affection despite her objections and geraldine hollered some --song title--...well! you've got some nerve! oh! i've never been so insulted in all my life! hey! you're kinda cute!

5) this ring will help me yet as will you knight in shining armor this pill will help me yet as will these boys gone through like water

Not A Sermon

2007-09-06T10:56:00.000-04:00

Working in a building, where the only access that you have to the stairs is to leave the building, having the kitchen that houses the coveted coffee machine worked on so no one can get in and the only other machine being on the seventh floor of your office, sucks.

It sucks! I can't believe that I'm entering day two of having to wait for the elevator to take me down a floor so I can get coffee just to turn around again and wait for the elevator back up one floor so that I can drink my coffee and work.

It sucks.

Just a thought.

An Open Letter

2007-09-04T16:55:00.000-04:00

Dear Bob Costas,

First, let me begin by telling you how wonderful it was to run into you Saturday night. What a pleasure to finally get the opportunity to see someone of such fame. I must tell you that every time I go to New York, I tell Ike that I want to see a famous person. And it's never actually happened, aside from that one time I met and spoke a whole sentence to, Ana Gasteyer.

Now, I must let you know that I was slightly disappointed by my "celebrity" sighting. I don't blame this on you, clearly it was me. After all, I was one of only two people at our table of seven who had no idea who you are. I knew that you were definitely "famous" when a commoner did a double take as he was exiting the restaurant and proceeded to loop himself back into the restaurant to see you.

To be honest, I was also a little bit disappointed in my own response. I was hoping that I would scream, screech, faint, something that some seventeen year old girl waiting for the Beatles to come off an airplane would do. But alas, I merely sat there confused as I couldn't recognize you...even though I had the clearest shot of anyone in my group and could see you quite clearly without even moving my body...which I'm sure you are able to appreciate, since I can only imagine how annoying it must be to have people gawking at you. Fear not, I was not gawking. It's nothing personal...really. I'm sure that you're an extremely nice guy. You looked like it. And the women you were with seemed very good company.

I can't help but wonder what would have happened had you been someone else. How would I have responded if you were any of the following people? (in no particular order):

* Lucy Liu * Christopher Meloni * Alanis Morrisette * Toby McGuire * Drew Barrymore * Hal Sparks * Emma Thompson * Jeff Probst * Pamela Anderson * David Boreanaz * Sarah Michelle Gellar * Al Pacino * Meryl Streep * Chris Kattan * Margaret Cho * Stephen Colbert * Kathy Griffin * Heath Ledger * Queen Latifah * Travis Walls * Christina Aguilera * Guy Ritchie * Madonna * Jon Stewart * Oprah Winfrey * David Beckham * Victoria Beckham * Brad Pitt * Joy Behar * Harold from Season 1 of Top Chef * Angelina Jolie * Jay Leno * Celine Dion * Bob Barker * Mary Louise Parker * Jake Gyllenhal * Della Reese * Justin Kirk * Roseanne * Matthew Broderick * Whoopi Goldberg * Sean Hayes * Felicity Huffman * James Lipton * Eva Longoria * Stephen Sondheim * Kathy Bates * Hugh Jackman * Kristin Chenoweth * That Guy from The Transporter Movie *

I still don't quite know. Or anyone that I actually would have recognized? We may never know.

Again, Mr. Costas, I'd truly like to thank you for the opportunity of seeing a "celebrity". It was quite exciting, and you can be glad to know that all of my dreams came true because of you (yes, ignore that time I saw and spoke to Ana Gasteyer...please also disregard the fact that I still stand by the fact that I swear I saw Sam Talbot from Top Chef Season Two less than 24 hours earlier on the streets of NYC). Yes, you are a dream-maker, Mr. Costas, a true dream-maker. So what if it had to be drilled into my head the entire ten minute drive in the cab who you actually were...now that I've Wikipedia'd you, I'm completely familiar with all the work that you've accomplished over your impressive career (I really like the part where you kept your bargain with Kirby someone and gave your son the middle name of Kirby).

So thank you, Mr. Bob Costas, Dream-Maker! (do you think you could add that to the end of your name, like ESQ?) Your fan,
Ph

Five Songs

2007-09-03T19:36:00.000-04:00

Sorry this is late. I was in NYC this past week and haven't quite had time to listen to and post the five songs. As a result of this trip you can look forward to a review of my celebrity sighting.

1) ~~i don't ever wanna drink again i just, ooo, i just need a friend i'm not gonna spend 10 weeks have everyone think i'm on the mend~~
Rehab by Amy Winehouse Howard

2) ~~with trembling hands she reaches up a stranger's flesh is offered and i would be the last to know~~
Mary by Sarah McLachlan Howard

3) rain comes pouring down falling from blue skies words without a sound coming from your eyes

4) ~~i, i like sleeping in your clothes 2 smell u makes it all come down when i think about me & u sometimes I get a little loud~~
Just A Little While by Janet Jackson Howard

5) please be the jerk of my knee i've fit you always you finish my sentences i think i love you what is your name again no matter i'm guessing your thoughts again correctly and i love the way you press my buttons so much sometimes i could strangle you

A General Question

2007-08-29T12:04:00.000-04:00

This is just something I want to throw out there. Why is it taking two years to rebuild a city? I mean, honestly. I've seen construction workers build an entire planned community including shops, coffee houses, restaurants and a dog park (and crap loads of houses) in the course of about 4 months. What the hell is taking so long?

It's been two years since Hurricane Katrina hit New Orleans. Two years since Anderson Cooper trudged through the water in his Prada loafers. Two years since I saw that footage of the little dog that was sitting on the porch waiting for his owner to come back and the little dog couldn't go anywhere because the water surrounded the whole house and then his owner came in a boat and rescued him. Two years. Thousands of people have been to New Orleans to try to help. Hell, my mom's been to New Orleans to help. Here's a thought: don't get volunteers. While it is incredible and wonderful that there are so many volunteers willing to do this, they don't necessarily have the skills to do this quickly. These people should not be without homes anymore. Didn't you see the Oprah special on New Orleans?

This is outrageous. Seriously. Stop building more houses in other areas, and get some construction crews down there that can revamp that area in probably...hmmmm...two weeks. That's their job. That's what they're good at. Let them do it. Give them some money to do it. And get this shit done. Stop wasting money on stuff that doesn't work (like No Child Left Behind which I'm using as an example based on Miss South Carolina's response in the Miss Teen USA pageant [I think that's what it was]). Spend some money to fix New Orleans. It's been two years...

It blows me away...two years since that happened...and still it's not completely restored...unbelievable...

[End Rant]

In Both Hands

2007-08-27T08:52:00.001-04:00

On the one hand, I'm glad that school is back in session. I'm tired of ragamuffin children running around with nothing to do. They need discipline, order and work to do. As well as teachers. Enough of this nothing to do in the summer nonsense. You only work 180 days out of the year. Yes, I know that you are raising and educating our children (well, not mine as I don't have any) and, yes, you deserve more money than you currently make, and yes, your work is difficult, and I applaud you, but seriously, I have teacher friends, and I don't think they ever work a full week. They get every religious holiday off (I recently heard a friend complaining that Yom Kippur [I apologize if I spelled that wrong] was on a weekend...oh, poor baby...you actually have to work a full week). I'm still shocked that Montgomery County doesn't get International Talk Like A Pirate Day off (which, FYI, is quickly approaching). PLUS, if there is even mention of snow somewhere in the forecast, schools are closed for week.

So yes, I'm glad you all have to go back to school. No pity here, I had to work all summer. Snow days, I was working from home, yes, I was working, sort of. Deal with the herding of students and melding of personalities so that we manage to create a homogeneous state of humanity where everyone worships Barbie and Coach bags.

On the other hand, I prefer the traffic on 270 in the morning when people are on vacation. All I have to look forward to (aside from summer again) is December when the Federal Government seems to stop working all together and the roads clear and I get to and from work in less than 30 minutes...

The Five Songs For The Week

2007-08-26T13:27:00.000-04:00

Two in one day...

1) you've got to face it to live in this world you take the good along with the bad sometimes you're happy and sometimes you're sad you know you love him, you can't understand why he treats you like he do when he's such a good man

2) ~~and now we're standing face to face isn't this world a crazy place just when i thought our chance had passed you go and --song title--~~
Save the Best For Last by Vanessa Williams Josh

3) i am your tragedy and your fortune i am your crisis and delight i am your profits and your prophets i am your art, i am your vice i am your death and your decisions i am your passion and your plight i am your sickness and convalescence i am your weapons and your light

4) ~~good looking, so refined say wouldn't you like to know what's going on in my mind so, let me get right to the point, i don't pop my cork for every guy i see~~
Big Spender from Fosse Josh

5) now were talking about a difficult thing and your eyes are getting wet i took us for better and i took us for worse don't you ever forget it now the steel bars between me and a promise suddenly bend with ease the closer i'm bound in love to you the closer i am to free
Power of Two by the Indigo Girls Josh

The Other Niece

2007-08-26T13:14:00.000-04:00

Niece:
1) The daughter of one's brother or sister or of the brother or sister of one's spouse.
2) The illegitimate daughter of an ecclesiastic who has taken a vow of celibacy.

Recently Elizabeth stayed with me for a couple of days before she went back to school (Mom is also here, so that's more why). One Thursday, Elizabeth and I took a walk with the dog so Elizabeth could "be in nature"...yeah, she's a dirty hippie at seven. We talked about many things.

She asked when I got the new tattoo and why I got it. She asked what my next tattoo was going to be when I told her that I wanted five or six more. I told her I didn't know. She suggested a llama...smart girl...I told her that I didn't think I would be getting a llama simply because I'm not sure that I want a llama inked on myself for the rest of my life.

At some point we got on the discussion of what we should do that night or tomorrow (even though I would be at work). She suggested that we buy Ashley a present for her birthday at Target (very specifically Target, not sure why). Now, for those of you not in the know, and I don't think I've actually talked about it, Ashley is Elizabeth's half-sister. So her mother had another daughter not with Josh.

Here's the basics of the conversation:
E: We should buy Ashley a present at Target.
P: Why would I buy Ashley a present?
E: Because it's her birthday.
P: Oh yeah? When?
E: August 10th.
P: So why would I buy her a present? (remember, no real relationship between us)
E: Maybe because she's part of your family...have you ever thought of that?
Brief Silence
P: Hmmm...No, I hadn't.

I decided not to go into the details with Elizabeth that night, especially when she is seven...another day, perhaps.

The Five For The Week

2007-08-19T21:28:00.000-04:00

I keep thinking that I'm going to write something clever and insightful. But then I realize that nothing has really happened in my life over the past couple days/weeks, so there really isn't much to write. And I haven't found anything insightful to write about, which explains the unusually long pauses between posts.

But to keep some order...

1) ~~conversation? wit? i am a doubter manners? charm? they're no way to impress so forget the inner me , observe the outer i am what i wear and how i dress~~
My Strongest Suit from Aida Stuart

2) i am a joan of arc and smart enough to believe this i am a princess on the way to my throne destined to reign, destined to roam destined to reign, destined to roam

3) i'm so tired but i can't sleep standin' on the edge of something much too deep it's funny how we feel so much but we cannot say a word we are screaming inside, but we can't be heard

4) ~~there you see her sitting there across the way she don't got a lot to say but there's something about her and you don't know why but you're dying to try~~
Kiss The Girl from The Little Mermaid Stuart

5) i think about the years i spent just passing through i'd like to have the time i lost and give it back to you but you just smile and take my hand you've been there you understand it's all part of a grander plan that is coming true

15 More Songs

2007-08-13T21:36:00.001-04:00

I think that this will catch me up, for those of you who enjoy this game...

1) ~~it ain't the trips to brazil it ain't the weekends in rome it ain't the french riviera you know i'd rather stay home~~
The Way That You Love Me by Paula Abdul Howard

2) ~~shouldn't a girl who's so good inside have a matching exterior? and since folks here to an absurd degree seem fixated on your verdigris~~
The Wizard and I from Wicked Stuart

3) ~~you know your place in the sky you hold your course and your aim and each in your season returns and returns and is always the same and if you fall as lucifer fell you fall in flame!~~
Stars from Les Miserables Josh

4) ~~a time of love, a time of hate a time of war, a time of peace a time you may embrace a time to refrain from embracings~~
Turn Turn Turn by Dolly Parton Howard

5) summer time and the wind is blowing outside in lower chelsea and i don't know what i'm doing in this city the sun is always in my eyes it crashes through the windows and i'm sleeping on the couch when i came to visit you

6) ~~hear me, heathens and wizards and serpents of sin! all your dastardly doings are past for a holy endeavor is now to begin and virtue shall triumph at last!~~
Man of La Mancha from The Man of La Mancha Stuart

7) ~~you can reach me by sail boat, climb a tree and swing rope to rope take a sled and slide down slope, into these arms of mine you can jump on a speedy colt, cross the border in a blaze of hope~~
Get Here by Oleta Adams Howard

8) ~~but his game is kinda weak and i know that he can not approach me cause i'm lookin like class and he's lookin like trash can't get with a dead beat ass~~
No Scrubs by TLC Josh

9) prepare yourself you know it's a must gotta have a friend in Jesus so you know that when you die he's gonna recommend you to the spirit in the sky
Spirit in the Sky by... Karen

10) and i went to see the doctor of philosophy with a poster of rasputin and a beard down to his knee he never did marry or see a b-grade movie he graded my performance, he said he could see through me i spent four years prostrate to the higher mind got my paper and i was free
Closer to Fine by The Indigo Girls Howard

11) i'm not trying to make you feel uncomfortable i'm not trying to make you anything at all but this feeling doesn't come along every day and you shouldn't blow the chance when you've got the chance to say
I Honestly Love You from The Boy From Oz Howard

12) of all who took the journey and managed to endure the ones who knew such tenderness the ones who felt so sure the ones who came before you the others yet to come and those who you will teach it to and those you learned it from
The Human Heart from Once On This Island Stuart

13) as long as there's the two of us we've got the world and all its charms and when the world is through with us we've got each other's arms

14) ~~now there's no point in placing the blame and you should know i'd suffer the same if i lose you, my heart will be broken~~
Frozen by Madonna Stuart

15) ~~you reduce me to cosmic tears luminous more so than most anyone unapologetically alive knot in my stomach and lump in my throat~~
So Pure by Alanis Howard

Go Light Your World

2007-08-09T12:01:00.001-04:00

So you might remember a couple of weeks ago when my friend Jamie was coming into town and I mentioned that I had something else that I wanted to talk about, you can read it here (it's not very exciting, as a side note). Well, I remembered what I had to talk about.

Last Saturday I did something that I've wanted to do for a while. I was going to go a couple of weeks ago to get it done but was talked out of it by my (new [shocking I can make new friends, isn't it? I'm actually only friends with him because Ike and Carly can't shut up]) friend, Alan. So I went by myself. After two hours of waiting for it to be drawn and completed, I walked out of the store with a brand new tattoo.

Here is an image of it, now, bear in mind that this is not a very good image...it's very hard to take a picture of the inside of your arm when you're using your secondary hand (ignore the flab, please). It was taken only a couple of hours after the tattoo was complete, so it's much redder than it will be after the healing process is complete.

Basically what it is, are cupped hands with a flame in it. I know what you're thinking..."why were you inspired to get this?" Well, I'll be happy to tell you.

There is a song by Chris Rice called "Go Light Your World". It is a song that I use at the end of the Contemporary Services that I lead at church. I'll attach the lyrics below. But there is a line that says "carry your candle". So that's where I got the idea from. I liked it. I like the location. I love the tattoo. I can't stop staring at it randomly throughout the day. It's also nice to have a random reminder of why I'm here.

There is a candle in every soul
Some brightly burning,
Some dark and cold
There is a spirit who brings the fire
Ignites his candle and makes his home

Carry your candle,
Run to the darkness
Seek out the hopeless, confused and torn
Hold out your candle for all to see it
Take your candle and go light your world

Frustrated brothers,
see how he's tried to
Light his own candle some other way
See now our sister,
She's been robbed and lied to
Still holds a candle without a flame

So carry your candle,
run to the darkness
Seek out the lonely,
the tired and worn
Hold out your candle for all to see it
Take your candle and
go light your world

We are a family whose hearts are blazing
We raise our candles and light up the sky
Praying to our Father, "In the name of Jesus
Make us a beacon in darkest times!"

Carry your candle, run to the darkness
Seek out the helpless, deceived and poor
Hold out your candle for all to see it
Take your candle and go light your world.

The Seer of Death

2007-08-08T16:36:00.000-04:00

I watched a dragonfly die today. Well, I didn't actually watch it die. I watched it dying. It was a beautiful, full sized dragonfly, probably 5 to 6 inches. I saw something squirming on the ground and walked closer to it. It had brillant blue eyes and a green body. I was going to flip it over so that it could fly off again. But on second inspection, I noticed that it only had two wings, and they were both on one side. Somehow the two other wings had been ripped off. I'm not entirely sure how this could have happened as there didn't seem to be any other damage to the insect other than the missing of the two wings. The probably is that even if I had flipped it over, it wouldn't have been able to do anything and probably would have reflipped itself and squirmed itself to death...which, unfortunately, seemed it's fate anyways. I watched it for a couple of minutes, and, not being able to bear it anymore (or the 110 degree heat), turned away and verbally said, to no one in particular, as no one was around, that I hoped it died quickly simply out of pity for it.

I should have killed it. Put it out of its misery and agony. But I just couldn't. Even though it was an insect and most people would have little problems squashing it, I just couldn't bring myself to it. Instead it sat squirming.

There was one time, back when I was in high school or college, and at the work camp I went to, there was a wounded raccoon. It had been hit by car, its back probably broken. It couldn't move and just cried in pain...not that I blame it, but raccoon cries are not pretty sounds. Someone from our church took a shovel and killed it. It wasn't out of cruelty, in fact, quite the opposite. He put it out of its pain. Fortunately, I wasn't there to see it. I wouldn't have been able to bear it. The thought of having to kill something is unbearable. Yes, in the long run it was better for the animal, but still.

I was outside with my dog about a year ago and stepped on a young garter snake. It couldn't have been more than 8 inches long (which is about a third of the length of a full grown garter snake). When I stepped on it, it didn't die. Its middle was crushed. Again, it writhed in agony because it wasn't dead and should have been. It probably wanted to be, if snakes can want. This was my fault. I should have had the decency to just stomp it and put it out of its pain. But I couldn't. Again, I let the animal die a slow, painful death. It eventually died and I carried it out of the yard so no one else would trample it as I had done.

In all three of the cases I felt terrible because of inability to, in the long run, help these animals. Yes, one was an insect and one was a snake, two creatures that most people would avoid and have no problem finishing off. I don't know what it is, it's something about the knowledge that I had been directly responsible for the death of these animals. It just doesn't seem right.

Instead, I just feel sorry for them wishing I had the courage to put them out of their pain. Knowing that I could help them, and instead I agonize over my inability to do so.

It's so much easier to help something when, after it's all over, it realizes that you really were trying to help it, even if it doesn't seem that way before hand. Like the bat incident. Once I got it out of the house, it probably looked back and was like "oh, him chasing me around the house, throwing a towel at me like a madman, was actually him trying to help me". But when you kill something, it has no concept of that. Because it physically never experiences the help that you were providing. Do animals go to Heaven? Or have an afterlife or whatever a person believes?

Maybe I just don't want to be the last thing that these creatures see. One would think that that would kill the animals alone. Is it my own selfishness that keeps me from helping these animals (and I keep saying "helping" and I really believe it would have been helping)? My own fear of having to kill something even though it would be better. It certainly doesn't make me feel any better knowing that these animals are in pain, so it must be something else. But what?

Later in the day I went back to see the dragonfly again, for, I don't know what. It was gone. I can only hope that it died quickly and was spared much more pain, or sprouted extra wings and flew away.

Hey, I can hope, can't I?

Indigo

2007-08-08T12:59:00.001-04:00

Set in the South pre-Civil War, Indigo is a love story between two women who are searching for their freedom on both the physical and emotional level. With a cast of five women, two of whom make the scenery, one plays both scenery and a character who leads people through the Underground Railroad and the last two being the main characters who meet and fall in love. There is one other person on the stage, but he is the band, alternating between three different guitar like instruments. I'm not 100% sure that they were guitars, but I don't know my musical instruments well enough to be able to intelligibly tell you what they were if they weren't guitars.

The "indigo" refers to one of the characters and how she was once a free woman and the indigo seeds that she carries in her pants pockets and randomly scatters and cultivate. Indigo pants were a sign of freedom (whether or not that's true, I don't know, but for the sake of the story it is). Through the music and movement of the opera, we watch as Liza and Belle meet, fall in love, separate and through the help of Willow (the conductor) find their way back to each other. It was touching, emotional and enjoyable to watch.

I have very little to complain about, to be honest. The story was believable. The set, which was made of actresses, was clever and, like Nutshell, you could see these actresses as the plants and rivers that they were portraying. The music was soft when it needed to be, and hard hitting and dramatic when required. Personally I thought that the singing was fantastic, but I'm by no means an expert on that, so people might argue with me. The woman who played Belle had to be one of the most beautiful women I've ever seen...there was something about her that just drew you in and made you watch her...which was appropriate for her character.

All in all, kimmmmm and I left happy and glad that we had gotten to see it. Not so glad that every restaurant we tried to go to afterwards was closed, but happy about the show.

I Think The Lesbian Was The Flying Pig...

2007-08-07T22:38:00.000-04:00

So while my new BFFs Jamie and Greg were visiting, we went to see my second Fringe show for the year, The Lesbian and the Flying Pig.

How do I put this nicely...I didn't like it. The basic concept is that it's the future, Christian's have taken over the US, you can't be gay, a new law passes that says you can't (have ever) had sex outside of marriage and various other stupid rules that will probably pass into law before the end of the Bush Regime. So the basic plot is that the main character (who's name I don't remember because I was so turned off by parts of the play that I didn't enough about her) is a CEO for a non-profit. She is up for her renewal and is meeting with someone to help her pass. We learn all about how she was raped as a child and all these other stories about her past (as an apparent sex fiend) start to unfold. Now she doesn't remember the past and relies on her (crazy...literally) girlfriend to remind her of what really happens. We start questioning what is real and who knows the truth.

In defense of the playwright (who also happened to be sitting right in front of me) the concept was great. It was a wonderful idea and the unfolding of the story worked really well for me. I didn't necessarily like his humor, but I don't think that the necessarily took away the story and my enjoyment of it. Even if the end was a little predictable, it still worked.

HOWEVER, and this is a huge however, there were three aspects of the play that just turned me off entirely.

1) In this time, Christians stone homosexuals after church. Fine. The interviewer or whatever you want to call him, listened to a Christian Radio station at the beginning of every one of his scenes. And by the sound of it, it was the only radio station to listen to. But at the end of all the little radio blurbs, a comment was made to stone faggots after church (which, by the way, is a word that I hate, much like the N word). Fine. That didn't bother me. If it had been said only once. I think that it set the stage for the time period and the way things were. But it was said every other scene. And I just didn't think that it was necessary. There was no real originality to the little anti-gay remarks on the radio blurb. It was almost forced and there for the sake of saying these things and making sure it was nailed into everyone's head that that was how the world was...and I just didn't see the need for it.

2) They would flip through file folders and look at different pieces of paper within the folders. But there weren't any pieces of paper in them. They were empty. This drove me up the wall, because for half the show they were looking at nothing, even though they were supposed to be looking at something. It was an amateur mistake that shouldn't have been made by professional actors. That's something junior high kids do. It just made it unbelievable. Now this might seem like a small thing, but it isn't. It's an enormous error that they couldn't put a piece of paper in these folders.

3) Finally, and this turned me off the whole thing, I couldn't see why the two women were in a relationship together. They were so different in character, mannerisms, everything. I couldn't EVER see these two together ever. I don't think that it was the actors, however. I think that it was the script. It just didn't make sense to me why they would ever be together. I could not get past this fact at all. There was no chemistry between the two. It was just so mismatched it just turned me off immediately.

So that's my review. The idea was good. The concept was good. The unfolding of the story was well done. It just still didn't work for me...

All in a Nutshell

2007-08-07T13:05:00.001-04:00

It is not uncommon for an artist to find another piece of work and create a response to it. There are, however, many different ways that these responses can develop themselves. In some cases, it is not necessary to really understand the original piece of art to appreciate and "get" the response. Such is the case of Equus and Agnes of God, the latter being written as a "female" response to the former. One does not need to understand the details or even the plot of Equus (yes, the same play that Harry Potter performed in the buff on the West End) to understand, get or appreciate Agnes of God. They are not tied to each other in any way other than the fact that the playwright of Agnes of God (who's name escapes me at the time), wanted to write a response to Equus.

There are other pieces of art where an intimate knowledge of one will increase your appreciation (and perhaps understanding) of the response. I think that Nutshell was one such case. My original thought was to say "Unfortunately, I think..." but I think the unfortunate part was that I am not familiar with The Waste Land.

Nutshell, written by Callie Kimball (who you may remember as the playwright of May 39th from last year's Fringe Festival...I raved about the play), is her response to the poem, The Waste Land by T.S. Eliot. My initial response to this play was "I didn't get it," however, not in a La Corbiere type of way. I understood what was happening, I got the language, I understood the characters and their motivation. That was all fine. In that respect, the actors were great, the writing was sharp, after seeing my second show by her, I'm going to expect from all of Kimball's work (though, to be honest, it wasn't until later that I went back and reviewed The Waste Land that I really got most of it). What I didn't understand was Why. Why write it? Why create it? I don't think that that's necessarily a bad thing because kimmmmm and I left the theatre discussing and trying to understand all the details of it.

To be honest with you, I don't think that this question of why is necessarily the fault of anyone involved in it. I knew nothing (and even now, know very little) about The Waste Land and I think that that was my downfall. Even in my brief moment of reading a bit of The Waste Land and my memory of the play, you can see just how bright Kimball is in her writing. She constantly uses clever play on words with various other pieces of literature (not just The Waste Land) which I was grateful for since I was able to understand those. The jump between a DC Office to the plains of Africa was set up and believable. The actors and actresses playing animals was incredible. They come out and, although they aren't costumed like the animal, you can see that the animal shining through in the way they moved and talked. The similarities between the animals of Africa and the "real world" were well drawn and created. I think that it's a sign of a well written story when as an audience member you can relate to a pachyderm.

The play was enjoyable to watch, though it always makes me nervous sitting a couple seats away from the playwright, which even though she didn't know, I did. She even talked to us before the show, though, again, she didn't know. However, it has already become more enjoyable by the fact that I've read a bit of the poem and have begun piecing together the two and seeing how many connections there are between the two.

In short (too late) I enjoyed it. Did I think it was fantastic, like May 39th? No. Though, in defense of the play, I feel like knowing the poem would really help me understand it and might give me a much greater appreciation of it. I did enjoy it but I didn't love it and I'm really hesitant to go into really big details related to that simply because I feel like I would be speaking out of ignorance and I don't want to discredit the play. Because even though you don't know the poem, it can still be enjoyable. I think that I missed a lot of the symbolism and jokes of the play simply out of ignorance. But I think that that is also a valid concern if someone goes in not knowing the context, how much are they going to be able to enjoy it? There is still a certain amount of enjoyment, but still not the extent that I would have liked.

As a literary geek, I would love to read the two together and look at it that way. Maybe some day.

Funk

2007-07-27T18:25:00.000-04:00

So, I'm not writing much, I'm really just waiting for City of Heroes to update...yea, I'm totally a dork and play it...and what?

But somethings that are happening in my life:

Jamie arrives any minute now...though last I heard they were still in Delaware...

I joined Facebook and am now addicted to that...I even joined a group called Be a llama. Anything that has a group called Be a llama rocks.

Saw Nutshell with Kimmmmm...will review

Am going to see The Lesbian and the Flying Pig and Indigo this weekend....will review

Finished Harry Potter, but I already said that

I feel like I had more...but I can't think of it.

I'm done with writing "..."

Good night and good luck.

Fifth In Line

2007-07-24T08:53:00.000-04:00

I was actually all done on Sunday. Yes, I completed the epic that is Harry Potter. There were a couple of things that really upset. There were a couple of things that made me really happy. Overall, however, I was very satisfied with it and thought that Rowling did a good job of bringing the story to a close.

I'm not going to say any more than that because I don't want to give it away. Ike and I discussed it as soon as he finished (he's clearly a slow reader as he had a 350 page or so head start). But if anyone would like to discuss it, feel free to drop me a comment or an email and we can discuss. As always, evolver I'd really like to hear your angle on the whole thing, but anyone else I am more than happy to discuss. It's still churning in my head so get it now...

Now, you may remember when I last wrote that I was way behind on my reading. I hadn't finished Order of the Phoenix when I went to get my book. Luckily, I had some time that evening to finish it because I was in my car and ready to leave at 12:06. How is that, you might ask? Well, I was fifth in line to get the book. What?!? How is that you might ask? I'll tell you. A couple of months ago, the Borders that I go to regularly was having a "Seeker" contest. Basically they hid a golden snitch around the store. If you found it, you told a salesperson and they put your name in a drawing to get some bookmarks. But apparently, and I didn't know this, they had another drawing at the release. They drew three names, each one getting a little plush golden snitch and bookmarks. However, the "first place" winner got an extra prize, though it was unannounced at that time. When they called my name (pronounced SO wrong, but whatever, I'm used to it) he told me that I would get to jump to the front of the line. There were a couple of other people (four) who also got to jump to the front. But hey, I'll take fifth over 210th any day (which is what I would have been). So my friend Meagan and I were in the car by 12:06. It was fantastic.

Another fun thing that they had done (and this post is getting long) is put up 24 questions around the store and they had a kind of scavenger hunt. It was cool, but the questions were really hard (i.e. What did Harry get Ron for his 17th birthday?) Meagan and I grabbed books (they were all from the sixth book) and walked around. Once we turned the answers in we were told that we got one wrong (How many O's did Hermoine get on her O.W.L.s?) They were saying nine. I flipped to the page and showed him it was actually ten. I'm such a dork.

So that's what I did this weekend. Read...a lot. Now life can return to normal and I can do the dishes that I've been neglecting...

Page 466

2007-07-20T11:41:00.001-04:00

So I'm really behind on my reading. I'm currently on page 466 of the fifth book of Harry Potter. I was hoping to finish the series by tonight when I go to Borders to pick up the seventh book. I don't think it's going to happen. Once the book comes out tonight, just to let you know, I'm not going to be on the internet until I've completed the seventh book. The reason? People are going to spill what happens. If Harry dies, which I don't think he will, it will be posted somewhere. And I don't want to know. So you probably won't hear from me for a while. Especially if I can't finish through sixth by the end of the weekend.

Oh, one more thing that I want to throw out there. Before I got to the fifth book this time, I had always thought that Cornelius Fudge of the Ministry of Magic was bad. He'd done so much to impede everything and in the Goblet of Fire there is a smile on his face when he hears that Voldermort is back. Plus after the issue of Umbridge, who, although I haven't seen the movie yet looks way to thin to be playing her, though I'm sure her acting is great since she is classically trained, in the fifth book it makes it seem like Fudge is supporting Voldermort's return.

But then it dawned me. He wants power. His own type of power. Not like Voldermort wants power. It's true that power corrupts and Fudge sees Dumbledore as threat, although Dumbledore wouldn't interfere simply because that's Dumbledore. So now I'm not so sure if Fudge is evil or not. But I wanted to throw it out there as proof that if Fudge turns out evil, I would have called it and I'm not making it up when I say "I told everyone he was". It's still in the back of my mind but I'm not so positive anymore.

Book the Seventh

2007-07-17T12:49:00.000-04:00

Y'all know how I love to prove myself right, right? Well, I just found this. It is from some producer of Lost or something...which, by the way, there is a little spoiler at the bottom of Lost, though I don't know when it is referring to. I just know I didn't know it, but I've only watched the first season.

But it's an interesting article and he argues my thoughts better than I could.

Harry Potter Dies?

Side note, I'm on page 509 of the fourth book. I have to read roughly 439.2 pages a day based on my calculations yesterday (I wasn't on page 509 at that point, I did that this morning).

10 Years Gone

2007-07-16T14:58:00.000-04:00

It's been ten years since I graduated high school. Which means that our squad of overly high school loving classmates are well into organizing and planning the reunion. I was kind of excited about going to the reunion. After all, I was Most School Spirited (for some reason). But that's not the real reason. There are two main reasons that I was preparing for the reunion. The first is that there are a couple of people that I would like to see who I haven't seen since we graduated. I use the term couple very much on purpose. I really only think that there are two. Maybe three, if I try to think really hard. Most everyone else I still keep in touch with. That "most everyone else" makes up my three friends from high school that I talk to fairly regularly. The second reason is that I want to see people who had a little too much to drink in college and had gained considerable amounts of weight.

I recently received a notification, albeit from a friend of mine and not the "real" notice about our reunion. As it turns out, our ten year high school reunion will be taking place at a bar in Bethesda called The Barking Dog. Now please understand something, I like The Barking Dog. In fact, when I'm dragged down to Bethesda by people who claim to be my friends saying that I need to get out of the house and ~~mingle with the commoners~~ go out once in a while, I usually try to talk them into going to The Barking Dog. It's fairly laid back, I generally like the music that is played so I can dance to it. It's not overly crowded. All major deciding factors for me.

Now I know you must be thinking that this must be perfect for me, since now I can go to The Barking Dog and see people from high school. Well, to be honest with you, if I wanted to see people at The Barking Dog that I went to high school with, I would go to The Barking Dog on any Friday or Saturday night. The fact of the matter is that people from where I live, when they want to go out, but not go all the way to DC will go to Bethesda. And there are only so many bars in Bethesda that they go to. So it's not uncommon for me to see people that I went to high school with at any one of these bars...which might be part of the reason that I try to avoid Bethesda and the bars down there as if I were to catch a severe case of SARS or some other horrible immune disease that will eat away at my stomach releasing my gastric juices into the rest of my body, slowly dissolving my bones and intestines.

I really wanted the reunion to be somewhere fun. The reception hall of a hotel, perhaps. Like prom. That makes it different, and unique. This, this is just a Saturday night with more people than what I normally see. To be honest, I don't even think that we'll all fit in the reserved area. There were 372 (I believe that was the final number) of us who graduated in 97. Now, I understand that not everyone is going to come. I'm sure there are a couple of people who are in insane asylums (or should be if they're not). I'm sure that there are some people that have joined the military and are stationed somewhere that will not allow them to come back. I'm sure that there are some people that just don't want to come (those are probably all of my friends). But even if only half of our class comes (186) and half of them bring a significant other (93 more people) that brings our total to 279. I don't think that the upstairs of The Barking Dog holds that many people. I really don't. Maybe I'm wrong. Maybe it will. Maybe they'll take out the furniture that makes The Barking Dog fun to sit and watch people. Maybe we'll be climbing on top of each other while trying to dance. Maybe there won't even be dancing.

To make matters worse, it's over Thanksgiving weekend. Now, I understand the idea of having it at that point. They feel that many people will be home visiting their families. Now this was true...when we were in college, 6+ years ago. But DC is a very transient area and people are likely to move. Sorry to be the bearer of bad news, but many families don't stay in the area. Many do, yes, but many do not. So you are going to make these people (myself included) leave their families that they were visiting and might only visit once or twice a year (not myself included, sadly) so that they can visit people that, in some cases, the only thing that they have in common with is that they went to the same high school? Does that seem like something you would want to do? I don't think so. At least I wouldn't. But then, I didn't have any part of the planning. Of course, I was never asked to be a part of the planning. And of course, I have a vague recollection of trying to plan prom and homecoming with these people. Pretty much anyone who didn't aggree with the them was just rejected and denied a thought. So as tempting as that would be to experience again, I'm past the age where I want to fit in and agree with what people (who I probably won't like anymore) have to say. It would just be frustrating. But again, I don't really know because I wasn't there and was not involved in the entire process.

Who knows, maybe it will be fun. As long as a couple of my friends make an appearance, I'll be happy. The upside of all of this is that I won't have to stay long if I don't want to. I can always just drive home, or go somewhere a little more fun. Perhaps I'll ask Karen and see if she would want to come with me. That could make it pretty fun, I think...hmmmmm...

So, at this point in time, I'm kinda nonplussed about going to the 10 year reunion. I mean, I'm going to have to leave Ohio early on Saturday, or late on Friday to get home in time. Now, this could be advantageous in the long run. A shortened visit with my family is never a bad thing. Plus I ~~have~~ get to see them at the end of September for a wedding. Maybe I will go. Maybe I'll just tell my family that I have to go and then I can leave and not go. Hmmm, there's a thought.

Good thing I have time to consider this...

Lucky

2007-07-15T15:06:00.000-04:00

Well, I've decided to take a brief break from reading to post these. Please be aware that there is probably little chance I'll posting this week unless I do it at work. The reason, I just did the math and I have to read 451.2 pages a day in order to complete the last three books from Harry Potter before I get the seventh on Friday...

1) ~~so kiss him and squeeze him tight and find out what you want to know if it's love, if it really is, it's there in his kiss~~
The Shoop Shoop Song by Cher Kate

2) i used to think maybe you love me now i know that it's true and i don't wanna spend my whole life just a waitin' for you now don't want you back for the weekend, not back for a day (no no) i said baby i just want you back and i want you to stay
Walking On Sunshine by Katrina and the Waves Kate and toonsNtunes

3) i can see the way, i see the way you look at me and even when you look away i know you think of me i know you talk about me all the time again and again (and again and again and again) so come over here, tell me what i want to hear

4) yo! so i glanced at the girls, girls glanced at me i whispered in their ear, wanna be with me? you wanna look pretty though, in my video

5) ~~i met a girl who sang the blues and i asked her for some happy news but she just smiled and turned away~~
American Pie by Don McLean toonsNtunes (side note, I read on Wikipedia that this line was actually referring to Janis Joplin.

Farewell

2007-07-13T08:45:00.001-04:00

Well, that's it. I finally got rid of the Christmas tree that was sitting outside of my house. Farewell, beautiful tree of brown.

The End Approaches

2007-07-11T09:21:00.000-04:00

It's all ending. Less than two weeks the story will be over for good...alledgedly, anyways. Yes, JK Rowling is bring her epic tale to an end...yes, I already have it reserved and am planning a late night trip to my local Borders to pick up Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows. And like all good bloggers, I'm going to talk about it...

Now, I understand that there has been much talk over the years as to what is going to happen, who is going to die, etc. I've discussed on various occasions with various people what our theories are. And now I'm going to share them with you. Lucky you. Spoilers might be contained from the previous six books. Proceed with caution...of course if you've read them, you'll already know...

Death is in the title. It's a war. People are going to die. People we have come to like are going to die. Tears will come. I can feel it. I'm in the process of rereading all the books before I embark on the seventh book (which hopefully I can do before it comes out, but I'm a bit behind). Here is my death list...that sounds morbid...I guess it is...it's only a book...remember that, it's only a book...for the most part I'm going to stay away from the villains simply because, well, no one really cares about them...

1) Voldermort...duh...
2) Ike and I have, at length discussed this first one. One of the parent Weasleys are going to die. Possibly both. I don't want them to...well, I don't want the mom to, Arthur I could live without (is that horrible?)
3) Snape. The reasoning is this: he's going to betray Voldermort somehow and throw himself into the fray, saving Harry or Hermoine or Ron or someone, thereby a) getting himself killed and b) redeeming himself for good. I don't particularly want him to simply because I see redeeming factors in him.
4) Another Weasley, and not Percy. Why? We're close to them. They've developed into characters that we love, aside from Percy, who I also think will die, but not in a noble way. Charlie, perhaps...that's the one dating Fleur, right? Killing him off would drag Fleur and "her people" into the mix.
5) Multiple members of the Order of the Phoenix aside from aforementioned members. Mad Eye (he's old and a little creepy), Lupin perhaps, though I don't think so (to be discussed later).
6) Luna. I'm actually on the fence about her. I can't decide whether or not she'll be killed off or not. I don't think she will, though I've heard people think otherwise. She's certainly at risk.

Who won't die?
1) Harry, although I think he should. Why he should: I've discussed it previously, but he's bound to Voldermort and the death of one has been built to kill the other. Why he won't: Rowling won't kill him. She's commented that she might. She won't. She cried when she brutally killed Sirius (her words, not mine, and I'm still bitter about that one). She'd go crazy if she killed Harry. Plus, and this is going to sound bad, but I feel like she is a one trick pony (and by one trick, I mean seven) and if she kills Harry, she's got nothing left...not that she needs it, though if she truly loves writing, she needs it.
2) Hermoine and Ron. Ron I'm indifferent to. Hermoine, I would be crushed if she died. I would be angry and write mean letters to Ms. Rowling. I don't know why, but I love Hermoine.
3) Tonks and Lupin. Why? Rowling isn't heartless. If she's going to take a lot of characters from us, she won't take them. We just discovered that they loved each other and they're finally back together (who knows how long they were apart). Her six books have emphasised that Rowling has strong feelings about the importance of love. She won't knock these two off.
4) Neville: Why? He has a part to play (to be discussed later). I just don't think that she'll do it.
5) Hagrid. Why? We love him, and again, while people need to die, she's not heartless.

Who I Really Don't Want To Die But For Some Reason Am Afraid Will...
1) Really there is only one, aside from the aforementioned Hermoine. Professor McGonagall. I would be so depressed. Again, mean letters. Why? I love her. She's a bad ass. Plus she is played by Dame Maggie Smith. I talked about it this past weekend and someone pointed out that killing McGonagall wouldn't advance the plot at all...which is probably true...whew...

What Will Happen? - The Major Events
1) Again, Snape will throw himself in and save someone of great importance getting himself killed.
2) Neville will kill Bellatrix. This was obvious the first time they met. I'm curious though, if killing her would free his parents from their...illness? I hope so. That'd be nice.
3) House elves. I feel like the House Elves are going to play a major part in the final battle. Why else build a relationship between Hermoine and them? And they have very powerful magic if they use it. And, technically, with McGonagall as Head Mistress, she can just order them to fight if nothing else works.
4) The Giants and Veelas. Here's the thing about her books. She loves pulling in real issues to be included in the wizarding world. Racism is just one topic that she uses frequently. The constant mention of mudbloods, and how many breeds, for lack of a better term, of creatures are frowned upon. The fact that the Order of the Phoenix embraces all types of people is a big plus for them. Hagrid and Madame Maxim's trip to the mountains to find giants is going to be important. Or else why spend 100 pages on it in the fifth book?

Anyone else have different theories? Different thoughts? Thoughts are always welcomed.

I think that's all I got. Those are my theories, anyways. We shall see what happens shortly. As a side note, I'm not sure when I'm going to get to start reading the book since I only finished the first one last night and I'm trying to reread the whole series until I start the seventh. And the fifth is a tad tedious, at least in my opinion...which is all that matters :) Kidding.

And for those you (Ike) who doubted my previous statements about how I don't think that the Harry Potter series is necessarily the greatest pieces of literature. Now, again, don't get me wrong, they are enjoyable, fun to read and very addicting. But great pieces of literature? I don't know. Well, Harold Bloom, who, for those of you who don't know, is pretty much the foremost literary critic of the English canon has his doubts...if you're interested go to Wikipedia. Here's the link directly to the criticism section. If nothing else it's interesting. Or maybe just for me...because I'm a dork...or does that make me a geek? As a side note, and my last thought, because I looked this up (the literary criticism), I ended up reading all about the Death Eaters and the Order and ended up on some random page about the creatures that Luna Lovegood had thought up. Love Wikipedia...

The Altar Boyz

2007-07-10T14:48:00.000-04:00

When I was in NYC a couple of weeks ago now, I had the extreme privilege of seeing Altar Boyz. My brief review: I was nearing peeing myself. I can't remember the last time that I have laughed that hard at a movie/musical/play/whatever. It was hysterical. Here's why...

Altar Boyz is the story of a Christian boy band on the last night of their "Raise the Praise" tour. Matthew (think JT), Mark (think Lance Bass), Luke (think Nick Carter during his "I'm Beating Paris" days), Juan (think Howie) and Abraham (a little JCish...oh, and he's Jewish) sing, dance and satirize their way through 90 or so minutes of their concert. Like all good satires they never acknowledge or recognize the humor of what they are saying or doing. For example, there is one song called "Something About You" when Matthew pulls a girl from the audience on the stage and sings a song about how, as much as he may like her, he's waiting for marriage. The song ends with him repeating that he's waiting for their wedding date and until then he's just going to have to master...his own fate. These clever little lines and jabs are nicely spread throughout the entire show. The songs are poppy and fun. The dances are great imitations of boy band style. My only complaint is that there was not really a plot, which would normally drive me crazy. However, in this case I let it slide. The show is performed as if they are at a concert and plots are not normally high driving parts of concerts. There is still a small plot that ties the beginning to the end and, of course, adds some conflict in the end. So I don't necessarily think that a strong driven plot is as necessary (and hey, it worked for RENT and Avenue Q).

All in all, the show was fantastic. Like I previously stated, it's been a long time since I've laughed that hard. I really think that there were tears on the corner of my eyes and it's the best work out my stomach has gotten in a long time. And Ike and I actually agreed on liking a show (we decided after our last theatre outing that he had no taste in theatre).

If you're in New York anytime soon, or if the tour comes to your area, go see it. It's hysterical. I loved it...

The Five

2007-07-08T21:20:00.000-04:00

So I'm actually on time today. I promise to post about Alter Boyz in an upcoming post. I would have this past week but I was at Kings Fest (as aforementioned). It was fun and refreshing. I might post about it though I said that last year and didn't. I'm not sure anyone would be particularly interested, but I might anyways, well, because I can.

But here are the five songs. I think that they're pretty easy this week. One might be tricky...we'll see.

1) ~~she's forty-one and her daddy still calls her 'baby' all the folks around brownsville say she's crazy 'cause she walks down town with a suitcase in her hand looking for a mysterious dark-haired man~~
Delta Dawn by Tanya Tucker Howard

2) ~~you don't keep books you can tell you've done well by the happy grateful looks accountants only slow things down, figures get in the way~~
And The Money Kept Rolling In (And Out) from Evita Josh

3) ~~and i thought i'd live forever, but now i'm not so sure you try to tell me that i'm clever, but that won't take me anyhow, or anywhere with you~~
Stay by Lisa Loeb Camille

4) so i'd like to get my nerve up to recite my poem musical he would like the fact it's musical because he plays guitar

5) ~~show me a smile then, don't be unhappy, can't remember when i last saw you laughing if this world makes you crazy and you've taken all you can bear you call me up because you know i'll be there~~
True Colors by Cyndi LauperHoward

The Fringe Approaches

2007-07-02T12:31:00.000-04:00

I'm excited that it's finally July. Why, you might ask? Or might not ask, who's to say...July just makes me excited. And there are numerous reasons for this:

1) Kings Fest is approaching (Thursday, actually). This is a three day festival at Kings Dominion. I won't bore you with who is going to be there because evolver is the only one who has probably heard of any of the bands or knows any of their songs. But it's exciting for me. Partly because I get a five day weekend, three days at Kings Dominion, three days of the Drop Zone, three days with the high school kids from my church (they always make me feel younger), three days in a sleazy Knights Inn.

2) The Fourth of July. I don't really like the Fourth of July. It's kinda boring, actually. But hey, I get a day off, and that's always a good thing.

3) The heat of summer is almost half way over. I don't do summer and every day we close the gap into fall is a good day to me. I'll be able to walk outside again.

4) The Fringe Festival. This is the real reason that I'm excited. 11 days (roughly, not 100% sure), 100 new, unique and different shows. I'm pretty excited. Though, I have to be honest, if I see a show that is going to be performed in a pool, I'm skipping it this year. I have, however, being do a little bit of research into the shows I want to see. For those of you in the DC area (this includes Baltimore for those of you who live up that direction, and those of you in Boston who might be visiting me during that time frame...) I'm compiling a list of some of the top shows that are of interest to me. Now, I probably won't see them all, but hopefully a good portion of them. And anyone who would like to join me would be nice :) . Another plus is that all the tickets are only $15.
- Nutshell - I'm probably the most excited about this show. Why? Because I saw May 39th last year (it's by the same playwright) and it was fantastic, so I'm excited to see more by her.
- Cordelia's Fool - I wanted to see this last year and it was sold out. It's a one woman show about King Lear which is my favorite Shakespeare play. So it'll be interesting (Karen, it has a clown in it, I don't think you'll want to join me)
- Carrie Potter at the Half Blood Prom - it just sounds fun, doesn't it?
- Indigo, A Blues Opera - I actually just found this one, it sounds really interesting...
- The Lesbian and the Flying Pig - I always love a show that questions the Federal Government.
- on your soapbox slipping - you can never have too much dance.

So that's what I'm excited about. Again, avoiding the pool shows...I'll review them as I see them. I'd love to have the week off and just see them all, but that's a little unrealistic, I'm afraid...maybe next year.

Sitting On These

2007-07-01T08:42:00.000-04:00

I know it's been a while since I've posted these. But it's back. Sing Along Sunday. And there is a little something for everyone...

1) ~~hey, you know they're all the same you know you're doing better on your own (on your own) so don't buy in live right now yeah, just be yourself it doesn't matter if it's good enough for someone else~~
The Middle By Jimmy Eat World Josh from TNT

2) --song title-- is almost here --song title-- by your light we can make the new day bright and the phantoms of the night will fade into the past --song title-- is here

3) it's not the wind that cracked your shoulder and threw you to the ground who's there that makes you so afraid you're shaken to the bone and I don't understand you deserve so much more than this
Song Title by Sarah McLachlan toonsNtunes

4) so much a part of me it's no wonder i love you the way that i do i can finish any sentence you start

5) ~~so get in where you fit in go on and shine clear your mind, now's the time put your salt on the shelf go on and love yourself 'Ccz everything's gonna be all right~~
Video by india.arie Josh from TNT

6) i've been --song title-- tonight i know there's so much more to life now i know i can shine a light everything gonna be alright i've been --song title-- tonight don't wanna be alone in my life now i know i can shine a light to find my way back home

7) ~~well, i'd buy you an exotic pet (yep, like a llama or an emu)~~
If I Had A Million Dollars by BNL Josh from TNT

8) no regrets but i wish that you were here with me well then there's hope yet i can see your face in our secret place you're not just a memory say goodbye to yesterday (the dream) those are words i'll never say (i'll never say)
Song Title? by Madonna toonsNtunes

9) when you feel all alone and a loyal friend is hard to find you're caught in a one way street with the monsters in your head when hopes and dreams are far away and you feel like you can't face the day

10) all you need is your own imagination so use it that's what it's for [that's what it's for] go inside, for your finest inspiration your dreams will open the door [open up the door] it makes no difference if you're black or white if you're a boy or a girl if the music's pumping it will give you new life you're a superstar, yes, that's what you are, you know it
Vogue by Madonna Howard

11) ~~another turning point, a fork stuck in the road time grabs you by the wrist, directs you where to go so make the best of this test, and don't ask why it's not a question, but a lesson learned in time~~
Good Riddance (Time of Your Life) by Green Day Howard

12) ~~pope paul, malcolm x, british politician sex, jfk, blown away, what else do i have to say~~
We Didn't Start The Fire by Billy Joel Howard

13) better than i was, more than i am and all of this happened by taking your hand and who i am now is who i wanted to be and now that we're together, i'm stronger than ever i'm happy and free

14) needed to make me weak to help you feel stronger i know y'all bitches think i'm somewhere dyin' inside oh yeah, poor --singer--, she went home she couldn't take it no longer but i'm right here i'm right here i'm right here

15) you keep on denying who you are and how you're feeling baby, we're not buying hon, we saw ya hit the ceiling face it like a grown up when ya gonna own up that ya got, got, got it bad

16) from appearance fees and royalties our herc had cash to burn now nouveau riche and famous he could tell you what's a Grecian urn?
Song Title from Hercules toonsNtunes

17) ~~i hear you're counting sheep again --song title-- what's the point of trying to dream anymore i hear you're losing weight again --song title-- do you ever wonder who you're losing it for~~
Mary Jane by Alanis Camille

18) who cares if people think we’re fine? we’ve been through this before! one day he’ll wake up and realize all he needs is me until then, God, i wish i knew i need a guarantee

19) ~~lying here with you listening to the rain smiling just to see the smile upon your face these are the moments i thank God that i'm alive these are the moments i'll remember all my life~~
Could Not Ask For More by Edwin McCain Josh from TNT

20) you found a place where you belong new friends that can do no wrong that's what you believe but who is going to be there when you fall to build up when you are feeling small give you love that you need who will, i will when the whole world turns against you, ain't no lie

21) maybe i could jump, jump off the brooklyn bridge but i don't live in brooklyn and i don't know how to swim or i could find religion go on some kind of mission feed the poor, and then i would go to heaven if i believed in heaven

22) ~~new and a bit alarming who'd have ever thought that this could be? true that he's no prince charming but there's something in him that i simply didn't see~~
Something There from Beauty Beast Howard

23) you've been gone for so long all that you know has been shuffled aside as you bask in the glow of the beautiful strangers that whisper your name do they fill up the emptiness

24) i will paint my picture paint myself in blue and red and black and gray all of the beautiful colors are very very meaningful gray is my favorite color i felt so symbolic yesterday if i knew picasso i would buy myself a gray guitar and play
Mr. Jones by The Counting Crows Josh from TNT

25) ~~now i can see that we're falling apart from the way that it used to be, yeah no matter the distance i want you to know that deep down inside of me...~~
I Want It That Way by The Backstreet Boys toonsNtunes

Dashboard Confessional

2007-06-30T14:49:00.000-04:00

I have a confession to make. This has been weighing down on my heart for a really long time and I want to share it with everyone. It's not easy to admit. I really just need your support right now.

I like Avril Lavigne's song Girlfriend. I iTuned it. I can't help myself. I just love it.

I'm so embarrassed for myself.

28 Things

2007-06-29T20:48:00.000-04:00

This was supposed to come out on my birthday. It took longer than I thought. And apparently, if I don't do it on my birthday, it's hard to remember when I learn things. On the upside, I already have some good ones for next year...well, not quite next year, I only have like 8 months left or something...but here it is...

With proper folding, you can make a perfect five point star with only one cut
Life is never quite what you expect
I eat a lot more candy when someone has a bowl of it their office
"Llama" and "yay" are not recognized words on my phone's T9 feature
Retucking your shirt in at New Year's Eve makes people think you are removing your pants
And they take pictures of it
When Marvel makes a seventh issue when there are only supposed to be six, the seventh issue will be delayed...a lot
Ultimately, everyone has experienced the same emotions: love, loneliness, etc.
You may have to walk a bit, but the best cheesesteaks in Philly are at Pat's King of Steaks
Doing taxes when you work and live in two different states is HARD
Getting high school kids to commit to things can be very difficult
Nothing beats Starbucks after a rough couple hours of work
Just because a song is popular doesn't make any good
1001 Books is A LOT of reading
Age is just a number
Thinning hair is not
People are nosy
You have to get up early in the morning the day after Thanksgiving to get that $5 quilt batting at JoAnne's Fabric (don't ask)
A Treo is fun to have in rush hour traffic
Jumping up and down and screaming at a game is probably not the best thing to do at 11 at night when there are people below you
Everyone likes to be flirted with
It's a great way to get things done at work :)
A Treo also means that you are always available for work
Sometimes things change unexpectedly...you just have to roll with the punches
It's not always fun
A best friend's wedding is never a good time to lose one's luggage
I'm getting too old to keep doing this
I have to plan better in advance next time

Coming soon, my review of Alter Boyz.

Until next time...

The Eight

2007-06-28T11:00:00.000-04:00

I was tagged over at Shantytown. Given my lack of posting (and inability to get online yesterday at work...I know, right?) recently, it's taken me a little while to get this up posted. But here we go....

THE RULES
1. All right, here are the rules.
2. We have to post these rules before we give you the facts.
3. Players start with eight random facts/habits about themselves.
4. People who are tagged write their own blog about their eight things and post these rules.
5. At the end of your blog, you need to choose eight people to get tagged and list their names. Don’t forget to leave them a comment telling them they’re tagged, and to read your blog.

1. I don't ever wear flip flops. This has turned into a great cause of debate amongst my friends. They insist that they are sooooo comfortable. I don't like my feet and don't want people to look at them. This argument occurs every summer. Plus they make my feet dirty.

2. I'm very self-conscience about my body and as a general rule avoid swimming because of it.

3. If I'm not on a schedule, I'll forget to eat. For example, on Saturday and Sunday's I generally don't eat, but it has nothing to do with my body image, apparently it runs in the family as both my father and grandfather were the same way.

4. I try to be respectful of other people's opinions...even if I know that they're wrong :)

5. I love emoticons and think that whoever invented them should be sainted. My favorites are (:3= (walrus) and =^_^= (mew mew kitty).

6. I try to be inappropriate at least once a day. Of course this is only with people that I know won't take offense. I think that people should always second guess their assumptions.

7. I have like eight postcards ready to be sent to Post Secret, but I'm a little worried because I'm afraid they might actually get posted and people will know that they're mine...

8. I have a photographic memory...except sometimes the F-Stop is on the wrong setting so a lot of the picture is fuzzy.

And that's it. I'm not going to tag anyone simply because...well, it's too much work to come up with eight people. However, I would love to hear what people have to say, so let me know if you did it.

Finally It Arrives

2007-06-27T20:33:00.000-04:00

I've thought long and hard about what I should make this post about. That's partly why I've only posted one post in the last month or so. I needed the next two posts to be good. The bat story kinda fell right into my lap and I had to share it.

Over the last couple of weeks I've internally built up this 500th post for the need to be really great. I'm over that. I'm going to keep it simple. I've been holding two According to Starbucks that I felt were really good. They kinda contradict each other in their view of life, which makes it all the more interesting that they came with the same drink.

I think that I actually got them the last time that I went to Boston, which was like a month ago. So after a month and a half (which is actually how long it's been), I'm going to share them with you.

The Way I See It #247

Why in moments of crisis do we ask God for strength and help? As cognitive beings, why would we ask something that may well bea figment of our imaginations for guidance? Why not search inside ourselves for the power to overcome? After all, we are strong enough to cause most of the catastrophes we need to endure.
--Bill Schell

The Way I See It #250

In reality, hell is not such an intention of God as it is an invention of man. God is love and people are precious. Authentic truth is not so much taught or learned as remembered. Somewhere in your pre-incarnate consciousness you were loved absolutely because you were. Loved absolutely, and in reality, you still are! Remember who you are!
--Bishop Carlton Pearson

That's all. Nothing flashy.

Good night, and good luck.

The Most Recent Incident

2007-06-19T21:16:00.000-04:00

I know that I haven't posted in quite a while. Unfortunately, I haven't really had anything of note that needed to be posted about. Also, since my next post is going to be my 500th post, I didn't want something frivolous so I've been trying to ensure that my next post is good. I know, it's thrown everything else off. But I figured that now would be a good time to bulk up on some posts. I've spent the last two hours on a train and I have about six more to go. I'm off to Boston (again) to go to Management training. In an unrelated note (reference to older post) Union Station has R2-D2 mailboxes, so now I've seen one and don't need to drag people around Boston in the attempts to find one. It was kinda not as exciting as I wanted it to be, seeing it and all. So that's where I've been. No where fun. No fun story to relay to you. Nothing really to speak of. But Howard has been hounding me (not really, just asked where I was). Just trying to make the 500th post a great one, which now that I've built it up, won't happen.

On to the story. Sunday night when I returned home, around midnight with a couple drinks in me, side note, I'm not drinking on a school night again, I let the dog out. I try to stand outside with her as much as possible because she has the tendency to just wander away in recent months. I wouldn't necessarily call it running, since she's old and can't really run much anymore. But she will just walk away from you if you aren't paying attention. I called Ike since it was his birthday (don't bother hitting the link, he doesn't write on the site anymore I just like linking to it =^_^=). And then I walked back inside with the dog. Cider can be a little slow sometimes (hey, she's 15, which is old for dogs) so sometimes it takes time for her to get inside.

We get inside and I notice this shadow out of the corner of my eye. I turn around, thinking it was just my imagination. It wasn't. Flying around my house was a bat. Yes, a little ball of fur with scaly little wings, was flying around my house as happy as he wanted. Well, to be honest, he probably wasn't happy. He was probably scared.

Now, before I continue, allow me to explain something. I like bats. I do. I think they are kinda cute. Does anyone remember that crazy bat from Fern Gully? Batty, I believe his name was. He was crazy cute. Or that little white bat in Anastasia. He was cute too. Wasn't he? I don't really remember...actually, I don't think that I actually saw it...but there was a bat, right? I also find bats to be very helpful. They eat lots of insects and recently I've been having an insect problem. So if a bat is in the area, they can eat the bugs for me. But here's the thing. Like all help, I don't want to see them. I want them to do their thing while I benefit from it.

So it's midnight. I have to be up at 6:30ish. I'm tired. I want to go to sleep. And a bat is flying around my house. I'm trying to throw a towel on it. I'm trying to catch it in a box. I'm trying anything that I can possibly think of to get it out of my house. The problem with bats is that they are random. I mean, birds are hard to catch, not that I've tried, but they at least fly semi-normally. But bats. Bats are crazy random. At one point I managed to get the towel over it. It started squeaking this little squeaky noise (I didn't know that bats made squeaky noises...they do, in case you were curious). I felt so bad for it, and was glad that I got it in the towel so that I could release it into wild (my back yard). I grab the towel and it flies out, escaping. ROTTEN! - Time wise, this was actually when I got the box thinking I could use it for something...

So we start the dance again. The bat flying all crazy. Me chasing it and trying to direct it out the house. It's getting tired because it keeps stopping on the crown molding and things - it doesn't really hang, btw, it kinda sits upside down, though. Finally it stops on my dining room curtain and crawls into it.

Since the curtains are not connected by anymore than two little rings, I quickly wrap the bat in the curtain, pull it down from the rings and took it upstairs. Since the curtain is sheer I was able to see the bat really closely, which I thought was cool (now that I was getting it out of my house it was much cooler). I took it up to the balcony and flapped it out. And the bat flapped into the darkness. Which is the way I like it.

It eats my bugs. I don't see it. We're a good team. Like that turtle and the little fish that follows it around. Or the hippo and the little bird that eats out of its teeth...or is that a croc? I don't really remember. I feel like they both have a little bird. That's me: a fat animal with a little bat hooked upside down on my second chin that comes out every once in a while to eat mosquitos and other annoying bugs. I think it could work for me.

Interesting Five

2007-05-28T22:42:00.000-04:00

Only two more posts after this until the big 5-0-0...

1) ~~i bet you didn't know that i could treat you right that underneath the armor there's another girl she's standing with a suitcase ready to run~~
Lady Fingers by Luscious Jackson toonsNtunes

2) i'm two quarters and a heart down and i don't want to forget how your voice sounds these words are all i have so i'll write them so you need them just to get by why don't you show me the little bit of spine you've been saving for his mattress, love
Dance, Dance by Fall Out Boy Karen

3) ~~i'm that voice your hearing in the hall and the greatest miracle of all is how i need you and how you needed me too~~
The Longest Time by Billy Joel Karen

4) ~~all day long i can hear people talking out loud but when you hold me near, you drown out the crowd ole mr. webster could never define what's being said between your heart and mine~~
When You Say Nothing At All by Alison Krauss toonsNtunes

5) ~~it might have appeared to go unnoticed, but i've got it all here in my heart. i want you to know i know the truth, of course i know it. i would be nothing without you.~~
Wind Beneath My Wings by Bette Midler toonsNtunes

Self Tagged Interview...Version Two

2007-05-25T13:23:00.000-04:00

Here are Howard's questions.

1. If you were on "Survivor" and were accidentally left behind, would you rather a supply of Coke or Pepsi? No, those are your only two choices:

Um, I don't really drink cola flavored sodas (pop, for those of you from the Midwest). But if I had to pick one, it would be Coke...but mostly because that was all that was in my house and my brother would kill me if I didn't say Coke even though he claims that he doesn't know the blog exists, I know he does...

2. Depeche Mode, Yaz or Erasure? (Vince Clarke question!) Oh, and why?:

Do you really think that I know these bands? I would have to go with Erasure because I know that you love them :)

3. You may dance in your cube, but what do you have pinned on your cube walls?:

Well, unfortunately I don't really have pinnable walls anymore. But at my old job I had two pictures of llamas and other crap as I discovered it. My next door cube mate and I put some ducks representing Karen, Courtney, Camille and myself. Now I have Dilbert comic and a calendar picture of a cat falling off a book shelf (someone gave it to me). That's pretty much it. I do have a nice ledge where I have my "Top Performer of the Quarter" plaque.

4. Everyone talks about you and Alanis, but I see a lot of Billy Joel in your weekly lyric game. How big of a fan are you?:

I like Billy Joel. But there are some songs I don't like...I mean REALLY don't like...for instance Goodnight Saigon makes me want to retch when I hear it.

5. Today is the 30th anniversary of Star Wars. What does the film mean to you if anything. C'mon! Geek out on us!:

Well, to be honest, I can't geek on you about this one. I liked the movie with the Ewoks...and I liked the latest ones. The others I didn't really care for. The first one wasn't bad (Episode four, I guess). But Episodes 1, 2 and 5 were killer...Episode 2, especially, I'm still bitter about losing 142 minutes of my life to that one...

Self Tagged Interview

2007-05-25T12:28:00.000-04:00

So toonsNtunes did a self tagged interview through Howard. I agreed to both of them...I heard back from toonsNtunes, still waiting on Howard...

Here are toonsNtunes' questions...

1) You often comment on my comic book commentaries. But I'm not entirely familiar with your pull list/regular reading. Enlighten me!:

Well...jeez, now everyone is going to know how huge of a dork I am...I love the X-Men, though I don't read them religiously since there is huge back story to them and while I know a lot of it, I don't know all of it, although I am thinking of picking up them once they hit 200 and are done in space. But I do read the entire Ultimate universe (Spiderman, Fantastic Four, X-Men and the Ultimates [which is the Avengers for those who don't know] and any others that might come out randomly). I also read the New X-Men and the Astonishing X-Men. I started reading the Astonishing because Joss Whedon (who is a genius) was writing it. I'm thinking of picking up the Runaways, since he switched to that one. And I like the Buffy comics because I'm also a huge Buffy geek.

2) You are are a self-confessed cube dancer. Let's put you on an actual dance floor. Can you dance in real life?:

Define: dance. In all seriousness though, I like to think that I can, whether or not I actually can, I don't know.

3) We've had brief spurts of chat about theatre. Tell me some of your favorite shows... either as an audience member or someone involved in the production.:

My favorite show that I ever did was The Beauty Queen of Leenane but that might just be because I had the part I wanted and the cast was fun. My favorite show that I've ever been in the audience for (besides Angels in America, though I might not get to see the second part :(( ) is probably The Cherry Orchard which I saw seven times because of work. Probably the most powerful show I ever saw was columbinus which was The Lamarie Project type of show about the Columbine tragedy. Musicalwise, I love Les Mis and Once On This Island. I love the music in Wicked though am pissed that they changed the plot so I refuse to see it, as well as The Last Five Years, A New Brain and there are some beautiful songs in RENT.

4) We're brothers in the weekly music quiz. What are the top 5 most played songs on your iPod?:

Let me look, this is going to be embarrassing...please keep in mind that on January first I reset my counts. So I'm going to guess, based on my previous counts and what I know were the top ones there. So, as of my last update:
Travelin' Thru by Dolly Parton
Not Ready To Make Nice by Dixie Chicks
Wunderkind by Alanis
Get Up by Superchic[k]
When You Say Nothing At All by Alison Krauss.

5) Alanis is a good friend of yours, and you have a great appreciation for her music. How did you feel about her portrayal of God in 'Dogma'? How about as a nutty bi-sexual in 'Sex & The City'?:

Well, I thought that she was great in Dogma and Still which was written for Dogma is a favorite song of mine. I did feel a little bad that people's heads would blow up if they heard her, but hey, what can you do? I actually didn't see her in Sex In The City. I wasn't really a huge fan of anyone but Charlotte and occasionally the red-head...I can't remember her name, in that show and it just wasn't worth it...and I don't have HBO. I also missed her on Nip/Tuck.

Wanna play now? Here’s how:
Leave me a comment saying, “Interview me.”
I will respond by asking you five questions. I get to pick the questions.
You update your blog with the answers to the questions.
You include this explanation and an offer to interview someone else in the same post.
When others comment asking to be interviewed, you will ask them five questions.
Rinse. Repeat.

Five Songs

2007-05-20T21:34:00.000-04:00

Just as a side note, which has nothing to do with the songs, this is my 495th post. I can't believe I've talked so much about myself...

1) ~~hey farmer, farmer, put away your DDT i don't care about spots on my apples, leave me the birds and the bees - please~~
Big Yellow Taxi as sung by The Counting Crows Howard

2) ~~i think it's time that you and i arranged a heart-to-heart kings don't need advice from little hornbills for a start~~
I Just can't Wait To Be King from The Lion King Howard

3) kids were wearing hand me downs and playing games meant kick arounds and footballers still had long hair and dirt across their face

4) ~~i burn burn like a wicker cabinet chalk white and oh so frail I see out time has gotten stale~~
Inside Out by Eve 6 toonsNtunes and emmmmm

5) you said "well what about that man that i saw handcuffed in the emergency room bleeding after beating his kid and she threw a shoe at his head i think what he did was wrong and I would've had a hard time feeling compassion for him

And remember, you can always hit the label "Unfinished Sing-Along-Sundays" to see all of the ones that are unanswered...

Accepting Applications

2007-05-20T15:17:00.000-04:00

Last week I received a "Save The Date" for my (baby) cousin's wedding. Okay, so she really isn't a baby, but she's five years (I think) younger than me...and she is the youngest of the six of us, so that makes her the baby.

So here's the deal, applications are now being accepted for a date to this wedding. Gender makes no difference to me, I'm easy :)

You must, however, fulfill the below requirements during the reception (I don't want to ruin the wedding or anything like that):

Be able to get shitfaced without me having to clean up after you (I don't do vomit)

Crudeness is a plus

Knowing and telling good raunchy jokes plusser

Willingness to make a complete and utter fool of yourself...continually

Offend at least two members of my family every twenty minutes

Hit on at least one member of the same sex within my family

Figure out a way to subtly, yet at the same time balantantly, protest the United States government through your actions and/or speech

In the presence of at least two of "the cousins" (that includes my brother) you must say "I want to build this, except on a smaller scale"...it's your discretion as to when you say that or what you are referring to

Try to give anyone clearly below the age of 21 alcohol...call it Jesus Juice, that seems to work well

Bonus points if you can get anyone who is clearly pregnant (I don't know if anyone will be) alcohol

Sob uncontrollably during the first dance while blurting out "Why can't you love me like that?"...if you can reach the point of dry heaving while crying, even better

Request all 'known dance songs" (i.e. Macarana, Electric Slide, The Chicken Dance, Paradise on the Dashboard Light, Cotten-eyed Joe, Vogue) and not only get as many people as possible to do the dance while doing the dance yourself, but also singing as loudly as you possibly can

Reference the prison that you just got out of...as many times as possible

Be the first in line to catch the garter/bouquet...fight to get it and brag when you do or wrestle it out of someone's hands if you don't until you do

Know how to dance

Know how to make a good iPod play list for the ride up to Ohio

I think that that is about it for now. If I get enough applications I might have to post a second round of requirements. Videos that I can post for people to vote on would be FANTASTIC, though I'm not expecting it...

Decision Made

2007-05-18T14:33:00.001-04:00

I've decided that I'm going to audition for 1 Vs. 100. I figure that if I could get a hundred grand or so I'd be happy because when all is said and done that means I'd have about 50 grand or so. Of course, it would be horribly embarrassing if I didn't win anything and got eliminated on the first question.

I do know a lot of useless trivia, though. Do I think that I would win the million? Probably not. I don't think that I would even try. Although I did learn that if you eliminate 90 members of the Mob you get to sneak peek the question before you decide to move on or not. That would be super useful. Of course I would have to eliminate 90% of the mob in order to do that and that is a lot of people.

Do I know enough useless trivia to do that? I don't know. I know a lot of the answers, but one always appears that I have no clue about. And it's right in the middle and then I would be like one of those stupid people that gets eliminated really early and I make fun. Maybe I should start reading up on trivia questions. Just every day learn a bunch of new trivia.

It's not like the questions are anything as difficult as on Jeopardy, which I do pretty well at. And that might be problem. I expect the trivia to be super difficult and I don't think that it usually is. Although, again, some of them are tough. I did the online game and I got the question "Who led the US military forces in Vietnam?" I don't know. See, I'd get something like that and not know, although I do know now :)

I always said that if I got on Millionaire I would work really hard (read, use up all my lifelines) to get to the $32,000 mark because then they can't take it away. I just need to reach far enough to pay off all my debts and working for an hour is easier than whoring myself, right?

Imitation Leads To More Imitation

2007-05-17T10:19:00.000-04:00

I think that we can all agree that there is a new trend in Hollywood - imitation is the best policy (I guess it probably isn't new, though). Let's look at a perfect example: 10 Things I Hate About You...now without getting too detailed, this is the story of a girl meeting a boy, falling in love and changing every aspect of her life in order to live up to his expectations of what a woman should be. This may sound familiar to you. Maybe you've done it to someone yourself.

Or, perhaps, you watched She's All That. She's All That is an interesting film because there is actually a point in it where the main character, I don't know her name nor do I particularly care, says "I feel just like Julia Roberts in Pretty Woman...beside the whole hooker thing". That may not be an exact quote, but it's close. Well, you should feel like you are in Pretty Woman because the story is the exact same: aside from the hooker, Hollywood, exorbitant amounts of money being spent on you and slimy Richard Gere. Similarly you should also feel like Olivia Newton-John in Grease...Audrey Hepburn in My Fair Lady and Kate in Taming of the Shrew and I'm sure a hundred others before them and after them.

Now, I don't want to go into an entire post about how we're teaching young girls to wait around for men to come and rescue them from the confines of their life. No, that is not my intention. I actually wanted to comment on Hairspray. I'm not sure whether you know this or not, they made a musical out of the movie starring the phenomenal Rikki Lake (whatever happened to her?). Yes, they made a musical out of the movie. That's fine and nothing new. The Producers, Spamalot (at least that name was different from the movie), Tarzan, Beauty and the Beast, The Lion King, Legally Blonde and I'm sure others, have all done this.

But what I love is that The Producers and Hairspray are making movies of the musical (well, The Producers have already made it (I don't think it did well). Yes, there is a Hairspray musical coming out. A movie based on the musical...that is based on the movie which is also a musical. This isn't a reinvention of the original movie, not like the well received Thomas Crowne Affair. Not, this is a take on the musical...that was a take on the movie.

Have we gotten so desperate that we can no longer think of original stories? It's not even that movies have the same plots over and over again. I mean, really, there are only so many plots that can happen. Sure details are different but the plot is the same. I mean, how many times has some version of Romeo and Juliet been done? I can't even begin to count. The regurgitation of plot doesn't bother me so much as the regurgitation of the exact same story.

Do you think that in twenty years they are going to make a play out of the new movie musical?

See, This Is My Problem

2007-05-16T12:10:00.000-04:00

I'm not sure whether you know this or not yet, but Jerry Falwell died yesterday. evolver posted a little notice about it on his blog yesterday.

And this is where my problem comes in. On the one hand, I feel bad because he died. That sucks for his family, it sucks that he's dead. I hold that rule true for most people. It sucks when you die. He was a minister and so there is a certain level of respect for that (at least at my end).

But on the other hand, his politics were assholish. He seemed to me, and I didn't know him personally, that he was a huge asshole. I guess I have a huge problem with the fact that a person spews religious dogma at people and uses it to justify hatred and bigotry. I have a problem with. That's why I don't like Fred Phelps. That's why I don't like Dr. Laura. That's why I don't like Jim Dobson. It seems to me no different from the KKK, only they are not physical hanging people and burning crosses to get their point across...although, I'm pretty sure if Fred Phelps had any real balls, he would.

They tote their religion around to persecute people and keep people from having basic civil rights. They can claim anything they want, and say all the wonderful things that desire...however, their actions are very different issues.

I accept that you have different religious beliefs than I do. I really do. I can accept and, in many cases respect that. I may not agree with you and to be honest, I probably don't. You're allowed to say those things. I'm not going to stop you from saying horrible things about people...that's your prerogative. But I'm going to think that you are an asshole. And that is my right to think that. Scott-O-Rama argues this point better than I do.

So, long story short, that is my dilemma, and I faced the same issues when Dean Schwartz died. On the one hand, someone died and as aforementioned, that sucks. But on the other hand, in my eyes anyways, he was an asshole.

What do I do? Do I mourn because someone who I am sure did some good things in life died? Or do I do a little dance because someone that I viewed as an asshole died? Maybe a slow dance will do...

I'm not sure how

The Songs

2007-05-15T11:28:00.000-04:00

So I've been falling behind on these...oh well. I think that this week is pretty easy.

1. ~~to hand-crafted beers made in local breweries. to yoga to yogurt to rice and beans and cheese. to leather to dildos to curry vindaloo. to huevos rancheros and maya angelou.~~
La Vie Boheme from RENT toonsNtunes

2. ~~but something's bugging you, something ain't right my best friend told me what you did last night left me sleepin' in my bed i was dreaming, but i should have been with you instead~~
Wake Me Up Before You Go by Wham! Howard

3. ~~boy meets girl, boy loses girl, boy gets cute girl back. girl meets boy, girl loses boy, girl gets cute girl back~~
Free Xone by Janet toonsNtunes

4. now brenda lived in michigan, always seemed a little different met another girl after college, then came out of the closet all the friends she had before, they don't come around no more she feels so abandoned, won't even leave her apartment

5. ~~i just want some one to say to me i'll always be there when you wake ya know i'd like to keep my cheeks dry today so stay with me and i'll have it made~~
No Rain by Blind Melon toonsNtunes

6. ~~images of rapture creep into me slowly as you’re going to my head and my heart beats faster when you take me over~~
Fantasy by Mariah Carey toonsNtunes

7. just look out around us people fightin' their wars they think they'll be happy when they've settled their scores let's lay down our weapons that hold us apart be still for just a minute try to open our hearts

8. ~~but the years went by and the rock just died suzie went and left us for some foreign guy long nights crying by the record machine dreaming of my chevy and my old blue jeans~~
Crocodile Rock by Elton John Howard

9. brenda and eddie were still going steady in the summer of '75 when they decided the marriage would be at the end of july everyone said they were crazy brenda you know you're much too lazy and eddie could never afford to live that kind of life
Scenes from an Italian Restaurant by Billy Joel Josh from TNT

10. ~~no one else will do, i'm waiting for you so show me what you've got, just take a pop shot and we will never stop, shu bop shu bob, yeah the clock is ticking and we can't stop~~
Soda Pop by Britney Spears Josh from TNT

Why I Love Tyra

2007-05-15T11:23:00.000-04:00

I've been a long time fan of Tyra Banks. I love Top Model where she gets to show off how incredible of a supermodel she is was. I love the Tyra Banks show because she talks about ~~herself~~ her passion through who she interviews. So for those of you who don't know enough about Tyra, I've posted the top three reasons to love Tyra Banks.

She can smile in the face of adversity...

She's always sensitive...

She's extremely humble...

Dear United States Postal Service

2007-05-14T10:43:00.000-04:00

Three hundred and fifteen years and three months ago, the first postal service was created in the United States. I'm guessing that for roughly the cost of a corn cob, a person could lick a stamp, place it on a piece of paper (I'm going to say that there were no envelopes at the time) and give that paper to a person on a horse and have them take it somewhere else.

Today, three hundred and fifteen years and three months later, for 41 cents a person can peel a stamp (speaking of which, I love the invention of the sticker that you guys made six years ago or so), put it on an envelop, and put it in a box. Three to five days later that letter will appear in someone else's box, not necessarily the person you send it to, to have them read it. Or a person could sign onto Yahoo! or gmail, write a letter and have it sent and received almost immediately. And chances are it is going to the right person.

Now, don't get me wrong. I love getting mail. Receiving mail from the mysterious postal worker who I never see since I had to get a job is wonderful. Especially when that mail is a) actually for me and b) not junk mail. This is still my favorite way to receive money from people in the form of checks. Paypal is nice and all, but it's not quite the same thing. But it's so much faster to keep in touch with people over email. I know for a fact that I keep in touch with people that I would never have kept in touch with if email didn't exist. I mean, I barely keep in touch with these people over email, imagine if I had to actually write them?

But let's face it, the mail monopoly is struggling (as a side note, the US Postal Service, henceforth called the USPS, has almost a complete monopoly on non-urgent first class mail). And today begins the start of a new era for the USPS: they've raised ~~sticker~~ stamp prices to 41 cents. And this rise in price I blame on the ~~President~~ War on Terror. Now, without getting too political (a bit late, huh?) hear me out.

For the last (how many years have been fighting this war? It all seems 1984ish: we're at war with East Asia...we've always been at war with East Asia) number of years we've watched as oil prices have gone up, up, up. Now, I can understand that you might be some what confused. What do oil prices have to do with sending a letter? Well, just think about this, you have roughly 260,000 registered vehicles and spend an estimated 2 billion dollars to fuel your fleet of 260,000 white trucks...and that's if gas was at $2.50 a gallon which I don't think has happened in a year or so. For every penny increase in gas prices, the USPS has to spend an extra $8 million to fuel their fleet. Which means you have roughly 800 million gallons of gas to pump into your gas guzzling trucks (don't worry, I don't blame you, that's the way trucks are, and I understand the need for them). With current gas prices, that's about $2.6 billion dollars. That's a lot of money. And that's not even including other overhead costs: salaries, buildings, etc. The USPS is the third largest employer (roughly 700,000 people) in the country, behind DoD and Wal-Mart. And where does that money to cover all that come from? Sure, some of it comes from the Federal Government as it is a government agency. But I'm willing to bet that some of it comes from stamps. Does it really cost 41 cents to deliver a letter? If that letter was by itself, it would easily cost more. But how many mail people deliver one letter, go back to the post office, pick up another one and then deliver that piece of mail? Hopefully none. And if they are doing that they should stop and deliver in mass so that they can save gas.

So how, in the midst of the War ~~for Oil~~ on Terror, how do we (and by "we" I mean the USPS save money?) Well, for starters I wouldn't do this anymore:
Now, I understand that this is to help promote the use of the new 30th anniversary Star Wars stamp. How much did making those stamps cost? I'm sure that there are rights to buying copyright privileges for the images, or artist costs or something like that. Sure, it's fun to have special stamps for weddings, Christmas, Valentine's Day, the fourth full moon of the year, Arbor day. But now you can make those yourself at any of the clever little online shops that do these kinda things. Furthermore, someone had to go to the trouble, probably work time that we, as tax payers, which seems to be a useful excuse anytime the government is doing something we don't like (welfare, disability checks, unemployment, immigration, again, getting political). Someone had to make this and design it. It's a mailbox that looks like R2-D2. Really? Now I'm sure Star Wars ~~geeks~~ fans are loving it. Josh (that's my brother) probably has a picture next to one. He's probably planning his trip up to Boston now to get his picture taken with it in case he doesn't already have it. Though, I guess I can't be too harsh because there are certain themes that I would do the same thing with. How much time does it take to a) design that b) make it c) pick up the old mail boxes d) place the new mail boxes ? Could that have been better spent somewhere else? Are they are going to be auctioned off at the end of the promotion? Did you really think that these things are going to be still standing at the end of the promotion? People are probably already designing their tracker beams or something to collect them. We can make our money back that way.

Secondly, I would invest in Hybrid cars or trucks. Yes, it will be a heavy overhead cost, and I would necessarily throw away all of trucks that you currently have. But eventually they will need to be repaired or new ones will have to be bought. Go Hybrid. It will save money. It will get rid of the 800 millions of gallons of gasoline needed every year. Well, it wouldn't get rid of it, it would reduce it though. You (meaning USPS) might be able to get a car company to sponsor the production of these new trucks. The USPS got Kris Kringle out of being crazy when they delivered all the mail to the court room in A Miracle on 34th Street, think of what it could do for a car company that is the "Official Car of the USPS"? Of course, I'm not sure if there are any "American" made car companies that make Hybrid cars, which not look great in the long run and could cause a little bit of turmoil.

Finally, I would tap into the wonders of making your own stamps. Forget hiring people to make stamps. Don't waste the money. Make a couple images that people can put on stamps on your website, hell, I can do it on Paint Shop you. If they want those, they can get them. Print on demand. Why make tons of stamps that are just going to go out of use? How many books of 39 cent stamps are out there? What happens to those? If you print on demand, you have no need to spend the money on stamps that are just going to go out of use in six months. Plus people can put whatever designs they want (within reason, of course) on their stamps. You could even charge a little bit more because people are more willing to pay for something that they have control over. I mean, would you rather pay 41 cents a stamp for a stamp with a flag on it or 45 cents for a stamp with my face on it? Yea, I would pay the 45 cents too.

I truly hope that you consider some new options of saving us, the tax payers, money. I do understand that you have tried, the Forever stamp was an ingenious idea, really...., but I think that we need to try a little harder. Everyone has to suffer when we're in a war. We all have to make sacrifices. I, for instance, have had to watch my tongue on criticism of the President, I don't want to be caught by the thought police as a terrorist of the state and taken to Room 101.

Thank you very much for your time.

Lots of Love,
Ph

Side Note: Jamie, can we go see those cool boxes in June when I'm in Boston again?

People Eating Tasty Animals

2007-04-30T12:49:00.000-04:00

PETA is one of those organizations that I have a certain amount of respect for. I mean, they mean well. And I'm all for not treating animals poorly. I tend to be more empathic towards plights that animals face rather than people. Maybe it's the anti-social part of me. I mean, I've been listening to The Whale Rider while driving to work and I almost had an emotional break down when 200 whales beached themselves and people were trying to save them...sidenote: it's a phenomenal book, I would recommend it. I have the utmost respect for anyone who is vegan, simply because I know that I could never, ever do it. I like cheeseburgers, bacon cheeseburgers especially (also partly why I'm glad that I'm not Kosher simply because I couldn't eat them). I like salmon, prime rib, baby back ribs, pork chops, lamb chops. All of it. Well, most of it. One of my favorite foods is black pudding, which is DELICIOUS...though most people don't think so. And I'm fairly certain that if I were vegan I couldn't eat that. I also have a great deal of respect for vegetarians in general, again, because I know that it is something I could never do.

Now people who are in PETA because they think animals are treated unfairly, I can understand that, and I respect that. It's the PETA people who are protesting at county fairs when a 11 year old is parading their Jersey cow around in a circle. I mean, these 11 year olds love their cows. They spend the night next to them at the fair, there is a great deal of respect for these animals. Those are the types of PETA people that kinda freak me out. That, and I'm not a huge fan of red paint. But if you're not crazy about it, I have a lot of respect for people who stand up for the rights of animals.

Saturday morning I had to go to a Confirmation Brunch at church (horrible). I was told by a girl in the group (she's in the seventh grade) that she's a PETA person.

Curious, I said, "Oh, you're a vegetarian?" because PETA people should be vegetarians.

"I eat cheeseburgers," was the response. Silence.

"Oh," I responded, eventually. "So you aren't a PETA person at all."

"Oh, no, I'm a PETA person. I just eat cheeseburgers. Cows are useless."

"Oh, so you aren't a PETA person at all."

"No, I am. Cows are okay."

She also has a Coach wristlet, which is a whole other problem, which I then picked up. "This has cow hide all over it. That's not very PETA of you."

"Cows don't count. I'm a PETA person. Besides, it's Coach. What am I supposed to do?"

"So, you're totally not a PETA person at all." And I left it at that. Although my inner monologue was "So you're more concerned about how people view your overly expensive wristlet, that as a sidenote is not even a good Coach design (trust me, everytime kimmmmm and I got to Starbucks we stop by the Coach store and your design is boring), than what you claim to be, which means that you're a) not a PETA person and b) not yourself." I'm sure she said something else, but I ignored the rest of the conversation.

Now, I understand that she's a seventh grader, and I'm sure that there were things that I did in seventh grade, that, looking back on, I would cringe at the thought of (for instance, having a Pro-Life bumper sticker in my locker, which I'm not getting in an argument about, so please don't start yelling at me about my views). You don't know who you are in seventh grade. So you grab onto something that sounds somewhat appetizing to you. And I can imagine that in seventh grade you have no concept of what really goes in to being a member of PETA.

I'm not really sure why I had such a problem with her saying that she was a PETA person. Was it because she was wrong and I love correcting people when they're wrong? Was it because I have a certain level of respect for people that are able to dedicate their entire lives to giving up meat and animal byproducts and she was besmirching their cause by claiming to be something that she isn't? Or was it just because I think that she's spoiled and I wanted to crush her weak personality by diminishing the only thing that she kind of stood for? Possibly I was doing it for a little bit of all three reasons. But I think that ultimately, and this could totally be my own personal justification for my actions, but I'd like to think that I was making her question what she believes that she is. Because if we spend our whole lives thinking one thing about ourselves, even though that belief is incorrect, we don't really know that we're wrong until someone tells us we're wrong. Right?

If we're forced to question ourselves, that's when we really start figuring out where we stand on certain issues. It's only through turmoil that we discover who we really are. As Alanis would say, and I'm sure another person here or there, the only way out is through.

Well, that, and I don't need anymore people ~~through~~ throwing red paint on my snow leopard jackets, it's a bitch to pay for the cleaning bill.

Edited: Two minutes after posting...

Before I Forget

2007-04-29T22:26:00.000-04:00

Three weeks worth of songs...

1) ~~goodbye papa please pray for me i was the black sheep of the family you tried to teach me right from wrong too much wine and too much song wonder how I got along~~
Seasons in the Sun by Westlife Howard

2) worlds could end around me so in love that i can't see you and me were meant to be that's --song title-- with me

3) this magic music grooves me, that dirty rhythm fools me the devil’s gotten to me through this dance i’m full of funky fever, a fire burns inside me boogie’s got me in a super trance

4) they got a little cute house on a little cute street with a crucifix on the door mitchell got a job at the record store in the mall just the typical facts of a typical life in a town on the eastern shore i thought about what i wanted it wasn't like that at all made carolann a cute baby sweater thinking "--song title--"
I Can Do Better Than That from The Last Five Years toonsNtunes

5) fire burn and cauldron bubble something wicked this way comes!
Song Title from Harry Potter and the Prisoner of Azkaban evolver

6) love is the answer, at least for most of the questions in my heart like why are we here? and where do we go? and how come it's so hard?

7) linda=work mama ! naomi=she is fierce ! christy=foxy lady out of sight
cindy=i can feel it ! claudia=sell the garment ! nikki=work the runway, sweetie
Supermodel (You Betta Work) by RuPaul Howard

8) it's hard to rely on my own good senses when i miss so much that requires attention have to laugh at myself sometimes and i can see that i'm not blind

9) we had a moment just one moment that will last beyond the dream beyond the lifetime we are the lucky ones some people never get to do all that we got to do

10) ~~betta get that dough sista we drink wine w/diamonds in the glass by the case, the meaning of expensive tastes~~
Lady Marmalade from Moulin Rouge emmmmm, with an 'artist' distinction by toonsNtunes

11) i think it's time we stop, children, what's that sound everybody look what's going down there's battle lines being drawn nobody's right if everybody's wrong young people speaking their minds getting so much resistance from behind
For What It's Worth by Buffalo Springfield Howard

12) ~~and the waitress is practicing politics as the businessmen slowly get stoned yes they're sharing a drink they call loneliness but it's better than drinking alone~~
Piano Man by Billy Joel Howard

13) ~~baby look at me and tell me what you see you ain't seen the best of me yet give me time i'll make you forget the rest~~
Fame (I Wanna Live Forever) by Irene Cara toonsNtunes

14) ~~don't you dare close your eyes a hundred thousand things to see hold your breath - it gets better i'm like a shooting star i've come so far i can't go back to where i used to be~~
A Whole New World from Aladdin emmmmm

15) ~~bittersweet memories that's all I am taking with me good-bye, please don't cry we both know that i'm not what you need~~
I Will Always Love You from The Best Little Whorehouse in Texas toonsNtunes

The Way I See It #242

2007-04-27T16:19:00.000-04:00

In honor of the recent births (there was another one today)...

Children are born with such a sense of fairness that they will accept no less than equal treatment for all. I know - I have three. I hope that as they grow, they keep that sense of justice and learn to challenge the old adage "life's not fair." It should be, in so far as we have control of it.
--Beth Vanden Hoek
Starbucks assistant manager in St. Louis, Missouri

Probably Illegal

2007-04-26T10:38:00.001-04:00

But this was too funny to pass up on...I wish I could do this...

Leave It To The Thanksgiving Bird

2007-04-24T10:08:00.000-04:00

I feel that who ever invented bowling was in desperate need to feel good about themself. Or else he was really bad at other sports and wanted someone to say that he was good at something (I'm going with he simply because I imagine that the idea of bowling is really old and the chance that a woman invented [or got credit for inventing] the game is slim to none, no real offense towards women).

Because let's be serious, bowling is the best way to feel good about yourself. For starters, most people are not very good at the game. Of course there are people who are fantastic and just make everyone else feel stupid, but at the same time, the game is never really against another person. Ultimately the game is against yourself. The game handicaps you. Nobody really takes score of the whole game in the long run. A person simply takes score for themselves. For instance, I recently went bowling with work. I got a 162 (a rare occurance that has only happened once before in my entire life). Could I tell you what anyone else got? Of course not, because the point is not that I won (I did, though shouldn't have because someone was trying to tie me and so he didn't hit the pins as he could have to win) the point is that I was six points shy of my high score (which is disappointing). No one cares about where they place within the overall scores. They just care how they did. It's a solo game under the guise of a team sport (unless you are a professional bowler, in which case, please disregard everything I've said and am about to say). Much like swimming. Sure there are swim teams and you get points, but winning or losing a meet doesn't compare to getting a personal record.

Secondly, the scoring is set up to affirm a person. What other event in life can you get 33% and still consider it a good score. I mean, let's be serious. If you're not a serious bowler, get a 100 is exciting. 100...out of 300. I mean, a 100 is not bad. You had to get at least a couple of strikes or spares in there. But it's a third of the overall score. Can you imagine getting a 33% on a test and being excited about that? And yet we are excited about that. A 162 (which is a 54%) is considered really good. I was ecstatic (although I would have been more ecstatic if I had hit that last pin on the tenth frame so I could have beaten my high score). I get excited if I bowl a 130 (I generally average around 120).

Thirdly, the game was designed so everyone can play. I've seen kids bowling, infants who can barely walk pushing their ball down a special ramp (and generally scoring higher than me, similar to the ski kids on slopes that are flying down the mountain with no poles and little helmets on, you know the ones), special needs children. To further this, we've developed duck pin bowling, bumper bowling, etc, all in the hopes that bowling attracts more and more people with the desperate need to feel good about themselves.

And it works. Think about when you get a strike or spare. It doesn't matter how old you are or how good you are. When you knock all those pins down there is always a little internal celebration. Maybe a little arm thrust in the air. Maybe a little "yeah!" Perhaps even a little dance. There is always something.

Even the terminology is designed to boost our self-esteem. We're a country (and I know that bowling is played in other countries) where a "strike" is not good. Think about it. Baseball - bad. If you get a strike at work - bad. But not in bowling. A strike is the best. If you get three strikes it's called a turkey. Normally a turkey is not equated to being positive (unless mentioned by Ben Franklin). A turkey is a person considered inept or undesirable (thanks Your Dictionary or a failure when referring to a movie or theatrical production. But not in bowling.

I feel like this sport was invented in recent days when we're so focused on making sure our children always feel good about themselves, trying to shield them from the real world where many people will try to push us down and try to keep us from feeling good about ourselves. While this is a whole other post, I feel like this is a huge problem with our culture. We're so scared to have our children feel anything besides joy...I mean, in science fairs in elementary school, they're not "judges" anymore. They're appraisers. Because an appraiser only finds the good things, while a judge judges both the pluses and minuses.

But that's another post for another time. Bowling, is a chance for us to feel good about ourselves without having any real talent. I say that, because few of us have a talent for bowling. There are people that do, I have no intentions to diminish that. But many people who bowl just bowl and if they get a strike or spare, it's through the grace of the gutters not creeping up into the lane and stealing the ball...at least that's how I feel. Bowling is ultimately our chance too be good at something we do maybe once a year or so. And that makes us feel even better about ourselves. Kind of like Deal Or No Deal, but that's also another post for another time.

Maybe that's how we should resolve war. Have a bowling tournament. We'd have a happier world.

Large Crowds And Glass Statues

2007-04-17T12:14:00.000-04:00

Yesterday was our quarterly meeting at work. I've been working here since August, which, if you had a meeting the month after every quarter, this should have been my third quarterly meeting (October, January, April). I think that we've had three mass meetings, but they weren't quarterly. They just were meetings. And during every meeting, we were told that we would try to do this quarterly. I don't mind meetings, really, in fact, I'd rather them be more regular for the sole purpose of then they won't be five and a half hours long...as yesterday's was. There was a lot of interesting stuff being said, don't get me wrong. But five and a half hours with one ten minute break is...intense, at best.

One part of the meeting, was recognition of the "Top Performers of the Quarter". It was the end, so everyone was a little bit tired. This was also a new "feature" that is being added. It's a good idea, because so many people work so hard to make sure everything goes the way it is supposed to be going. In my opinion, at least 90% of the people that I work with everyday deserve recognition as being a "Top Performer". But, I don't decide. Five people throughout the company (well, our division, I'm not sure it's consider it's own company since we're part of a much larger, international company) were given this award. They called you up, talked about what you did to deserve this, and give you a very nice glass plaque and a gift certificate.

It is a very nice gesture. And I don't really like using the word gesture, because I think that it was more than a gesture. The management committee really wanted to recognize those people who went above and beyond the call of duty. I can not stress enough how nice it was for them to do it. However, I can tell you from personal experience, that it is extremely nervewracking to be one of those five people. I'll tell you why. It's the first time it's been done. They call your name, you go up there, stand in front of everyone. There are two other people up there (the HR director and the CEO [I don't actually know his exact title, he runs our division]) neither of whom you've ever met. They're giving you the plaque. 100+ people are looking at you. Your managers come up to talk about you and why you are deserving of this award. All the while, 100+ people are not paying attention to them, they're paying attention to you. Staring at you. And if you look up, you can see 200+ eyes staring at you. Now, for someone who hates standing in front of crowds, especially when they're just standing there having people praise you for doing your job, it's freaky...and not fun.

When I got back to the office, I had to decide whether or not to put my new plaque up. On the one hand, I didn't want people drawing attention to it. There were already multiple people who were congratulating me. And I didn't really want this award to people something that people could reference to. It seperated me and makes me different, and I'd so much rather blend in at work. But, on the other hand, the management committee had gotten these things made and thought that I was worthy of one, which is a great honor. And I didn't want them to think that I didn't want it or thought it was bad. There in lies the problem. Do I put it up and risk people talking to me about it and show management that I think it was very cool of them to create them and give me one? Or, do I not put it up, so that I'm not bragging about it and give management the impression that I don't really care about it?

Like any great Top Performer would do (please read that sarcastically), I went to another person who received the award and asked what she was doing. She had the same issue. What do we do? In the end, it came down to the fact that my manager had wanted to see it and told me that I should put it out and be proud of it. So that's what we decided to do. We both went down the car, in the 40 degree weather (can you believe it's 40 here with 40mph winds? Not as bad as the Boston Marathon yesterday, though), got our awards and put them at our desks. She almost immediately wrote me to make sure I had put it up. I told her yes.

I know that at least one other person has it up and that makes me feel a little better and a little more comfortable. I've never actually won an award at work before. It makes me feel weird. I don't really like the recognition, even though I just wrote this whole post about it. My reasoning behind it is this: it's my job. I'm just doing it. When I worked at my old company I was asked by my manager how she can recognize me if I do a job well done. I told her that she could just let me know that I was doing my job correctly. It's my job. I don't need recognition. I feel like at the end of the day (or year, or whenever) I'll be rewarded because I did my job the best I could. Be that in raises, promotions, recommendations for future jobs. Plus, they reward me every two weeks with a paycheck. Isn't doing the job the best you can reward enough?

Again, don't get me wrong. It was very nice of them to do that and I'm grateful. But at the same time, my manager(s) asked me to do something and I did it. I did it as best I could. Does that really separate me or make me different from anyone else? I'd like to think that everyone does the best that they can do. Now, I know that this isn't always the truth, since there are some people in the world who skim by simply by doing the least amount of work possible. And I know that it's complete optimism in the human race that gives me this feeling (which, I frequently remember is foolish). But what I can't understand is why someone wouldn't want to do their best. What's the point in working if you're not going to work? Even when I was waiting tables, which I hated, I still did the best that I could. Why? Not because of the asshole who yelled at me because they thought the turkey breast sandwich wasn't actually made with cooked turkey breast (it was), but because I can't imagine doing my job any other way. Although, in retrospect, I given a nice tip from those people, even though they thought the sandwich was bad. So maybe asshole is to strong a word.

Martin Luther King Jr. was once quoted as saying:

If a man is called a streetsweeper, he should sweep streets even as Michelangelo painted, or Beethoven compased music, or Shakespeare wrote poetry. He should sweep streets so well that all the hosts of heaven and Earth will pause to say 'Here lived a great streetsweeper who did his job well'

Thoughts?

How IKEA Bought My Soul

2007-04-13T08:35:00.000-04:00

As kimmmmm frequently says, there is a price to happiness. Well, she normally says that there is a price to comfort and it is the difference between buying a train ticket to NYC versus a bus fare.

Well, I must tell you, there is a price to loyalty as well. And it's roughly 5 grand. A couple of years ago (my guess is 2002, which I know is more than a couple years) there was a show in the height of it's popularity. This show was originally airing on NBC, but owing to it's popularity, it was being syndicated...on the WB no less. Now, I ~~love~~ loved the WB. The WB has aired such wonderful shows as Charmed, Buffy, Top Model, The Tyra Banks Show (which I find to be aptly called since she spends more time talking about herself than the guests) and I'm sure some others, not counting Seventh Heaven because I've hated that show ever since the episode about The Crucible (I don't really want to go into it).

Sorry, the story. This show was being syndicated. In order to "celebrate" the WB decided to throw a little party. And by party, please read "Contest". Perhaps a little background of the show to get a better idea. It focused on the life of a gay man and his best friend. There were also these two other characters, who, for the sake of names, we'll just call Jack and Karen. So the contest was to do up to a two minute impression of one of these two other characters, who, for the sake of names we named Jack and Karen.

Some background about me. I have this...um...ability to randomly remember quotes from movies, plays, songs, things of that nature. I only need to see something once to begin remembering things. Now, given the fact that I watched this show every week, and would occasionally see reruns, I tended to learn the lines quickly. As a limitedly talented actor, I was also able to mimic the characters' actions.

When this contest came around, I was well prepared. I borrowed a video camera from a friend of mine, set up the tripod, and set to taping. I actually did two different monologues from the character that we have named Jack. The first, he was hooked on iced flavored coffees. The second was him recalling how he met the second character's, whom we've named Karen, just for the sake of a name, mother. The monologues are fast, high energy and fun. The first I had memorized long ago. The second I kinda rehashed it as I went.

All taped, I sent them away. A couple weeks later I received a phone call, well, a phone message, telling me that I had gotten second place...and five thousand dollars from IKEA. Now, I had never been to IKEA before, there were only two in the area and they were at least an hour away...on a good day. One required going through the metal (excuse the language) klusterfuck that is the mixing bowl (which, for those of you not from DC is the point where every major road in the area converges into one location [horrible planning]). The second required going north of Baltimore into White Marsh. But hey, five grand is five grand. Although, to be honest, my first reaction was "Second? What?" I was also asked to go to the WB station to tape my scene in front of a WB scrim.

It was at the WB studio that I met her. The girl that actually won the Ten Grand IKEA prize. I thought for sure she was going to be fun. I mean, the two characters are fun. I'm fun. It only followed suit. Sad to say, she was not. In fact, she was rather boring. And, although I am a little biased (mostly because my impression is the bomb [yes, I did say that]) she wasn't that good, either. She did, however, wear a dress and put in fake hair to look a little like her character. She also, conveniently knew someone that worked at the WB...coincidence? I don't think so.

In fact, to further my argument that I was better, when we recorded, half the staff of the WB in DC was in the room watching me film. When I was done, they all laughed, and left. They didn't even care about her. She didn't even remember her lines (and she only had four). How a person can win with four lines (that is not exaggeration, either) while I had two full monologues memorized, acted, and performed.

But in the end I walked out of there with $5000 in gift certificates to IKEA, 36 coupons for free 12 packs of Coke products, a martini glass, a hat and a magnet. And the satisfaction of a) being the best impersonator of the character in the DC metro area b) getting second place and c) knowing that I actually should have gotten first. Although, it has taken me fivish years to spend $4000 from IKEA, I have no idea what I would have done with $10,000...though it would have been nice, simply because I deserved it :)

And that, gentle readers, is how I had $5000 in IKEA money. Thankfully they have build a nicer IKEA that's even closer to my house. So I can go more frequently. But I have a full house, so I don't even know where the remaining of my money is going to go.

So that's my story. And I'm sticking to it.

So You All Know

2007-04-10T13:15:00.000-04:00

Ya'll know how I love Alanis. Well, Howard, who has been making recent visits to my blog, wrote a post about her (he is also a fan).

It's here: Alanis Morissette Is A Genius. Despite non-believers, I've heard similar arguments, though I couldn't tell you from where. It might have been his blog...who knows.

My opinion is similar to Howard's. Alanis, we're close like that and I only have to use her first name, seems way too intelligent to not plan out her songs in advanced.

Ironic...ironic indeed (well, not really...it just seemed fitting).

Up next is the IKEA story, I promise...

New Songs

2007-04-09T20:25:00.000-04:00

1) let me down easy no big song and dance no long faces, no long looks no deep conversation i know the way we should spend that day take me to a zoo that's got chimpanzees --song title-- please

2) give me a man who is handsome and strong someone who's stalwart and steady give me a night that's romantic and long and give me a month to get ready

3) i will join these people's heroes i will follow where they go i will learn their little secrets, i will know the things they know

4) hillside brings beef with the cops self-destruction record drops and everybody's name was Muslim sensations and '88 attracted kids from out-of-state and everybody used to do the wop jack, jack, jack ya body

5) ~~hurt that's not supposed to show and tears that fall when no one knows when you're trying hard to be your best could you be a little less~~
What It Feels Like For A Girl by Madonna toonsNtunes

6) ~~make them laugh, it comes so easy when you get to the part where you're breaking my heart hide behind your smile, all the world loves a clown~~
Take A Bow by Madonna toonsNtunes

7) ~~i went sky divin', i went rocky mountain climbin', i went 2.7 seconds on a bull name fu manchu and i loved deeper, and i spoke sweeter, and i gave forgiveness i've been denying~~
Live Life You Were Dying by Tim McGraw emmmmm

8) ~~he's got a daughter he calls easter she was born on a tuesday night i'm just wondering why i feel so alone why i'm a stranger in my own life~~
Everyday Is A Winding Road by Sheryl Crow Howard

9) ~~they say our love won't pay the rent before it's earned, our money's all been spent i guess that's so, we don't have a pot but at least i'm sure of all the things we got~~
I Got You Babe by Sonny and ChertoonsNtunes

10) ~~if you're filled with affection, you're too shy to convey meditate my direction, feel your way~~
You're The One That I Want from Grease Howard

Let Them Eat Peeps

2007-04-09T11:21:00.000-04:00

I haven't done a lot of blogging recently. Well, I did a couple of long posts. But nothing else. I have the songs "selected" for the past two weeks. I'll post those, probably (read Hopefully), tonight. I hope everyone had a wonderful Easter, unless you are not Christian in which case I hope you had a wonderful Sunday. To celebrate, I wanted to pass something along. This was sent to me by Chris...

Peep Party

Also, as requested, an explanation as to why I had Five grand from IKEA (though, I'm sure I've explained this before).